Corp Fin 23條

這幾天大家開口埋口4200萬，是沒錯是提醒大家工作要小心點，可是我個人呢，覺得，出手太重了吧。而且，我幾乎能夠肯定，整個社會沒有人會同情一家金融機構的。

老實說，我搜集的資料不多，主要都是看證監的聲明：
http://www.sfc.hk/sfcPressRelease/EN/sfcOpenDocServlet?docno=12PR39

個人覺得，裡面的指控，沒有一項是洪良爆煲的致命原因。講來講去都在講那些supplier customer questionnaire，所謂“5宗罪”裡面有3宗根本就在說同一件事。話人家“a number of interviews were conducted in haste on the day of filing the listing application"，大佬，我邊個moment做interview你都要插，係咪無野揾野講？！

最有趣的指控是說公司都由初級員工負責due d。大佬呀，粗重野當然是初級的做啦，難道你叫我個MD去執file？！

而且大家不能忘記一個重要事實。洪良造。假。數。我無意為兆豐辯護，他們做漏了一些基本的due d procedure，是非常柒，公司怪怪地你聞吾到，是非常憨居。罰是要罰的。但一家公司要造。假。數。基本上跟那些該死的questionnaire完全無關，有關的，是會計師報告。吾係又要sponsor包艇呀？！

證監的最後一點指控當然更加point不成point，傳媒講D吾講D，引述說甚麼失實陳述搞到好似好大件事。其實證監根本就是說，你在undertaking裡說你已經盡了責任，但我現在發覺你沒有盡責，所以你作出失實陳述了。而其實，盡不盡責，是觀點，不是陳述。因為due diligence是無底線的，你要找渣，一定能找到。我覺得我已經盡責了，你覺得我沒，但我沒有說謊呀。保薦人的陳述，不過是說保薦人相信他們提供的資料是事實而且沒有重要遺漏。有遺漏的話，上市過程過了這麼多個月，交易所問了這麼多問題都問不出，交易所還讓他上市，要吊，係咪應該吊銷交易所牌照先呢笨？！

招股書律師寫的，無事（至少未有）；數是會計師篤的，無事（至少未有）；證監現在先重罰保薦人，客觀效果就是令整個業界都認為，原來保薦人是應該要無限包艇的。罰是要罰的，但4200萬？以兆豐的規模怕且做多20單IPO都賺不回來，更何況他們整個6仔牌都沒了。嚇Q死人了，點做呀？

頭上多了一把刀，但由於社會上沒有人會同情，同業們也不能說抗爭甚麼的。不過，嘿嘿，我覺得我們以後收費應該要貴一點。

The matchmaking business

今天hockey聚會，當然聊到會籍問題。

誤解1：原來隊友們全部都以為我是“岸已上”之人，或以為至少在我離開英國前，是“岸已上”之人（我個人通常稱之為“已除牌”）。

誤解2：澄清沒這回事以後，就有人說我在異地應該識吾少。

誤解3：澄清沒這回事以後，原來還真有人以為我是出入神，“未玩夠”，自願性維持上市地位。

我不是第一次被人以為是出入神。我現在開始擔心，是不是因為我在比較不close的朋友前都有個出入神形象，才導致自己良久都未私有化？！

怕且我需要個brand building exercise了。

*

The Meiling Approach vs the Speed dating approach

隊友說，應該搞個speed dating event，分享大家的network。我說，我有朋友試過搞，反應冷淡，只有仔沒有女，失敗收場。Meiling Approach 可貴之處，是那個場合本來不是用來結識另一半的，先當是認識個朋友，參加者不會那麼self-conscious，對認識對方或日後發展都有好處。

The checklist approach vs the serendipity approach

隊友問我，你的擇偶條件是甚麼？我說，我說不出。你大概想我答甚麼？她說，長頭髮？識煮野？蠢D定聰明D？

1. 我愛上過的都是長頭髮的，但不代表日後我不能喜歡短頭髮的。
2. 識煮飯加分，但不懂煮飯不會減分。
3. 不需要比我蠢；事實上，我覺得我愛上過的，大部份時候都比我聰明。而他們最不聰明的一點，就是不愛我。嘿嘿。

總而言之，從前人能歸納出一個pattern，但這不能是checklist。以前失敗過，現在不就更應該嘗試認識不同類型的人？

所以，serendipity approach 才是王道。而實行serendipity approach 的唯一方法，就是多出外，多認識新朋友，多交談，多了解別人的生活，興趣。

生活已經充實了，上市，不上市，其實都沒所謂了吧？

所以結論是，matchmaking consultancy，是好難因為bring real result而賺錢的。因為如果大家都用serendipity approach的話，matchmaking consultancy 就無生意了。

Crazy, stupid, love

租了一套垃圾戲陪媽媽看。真的很垃圾，後期悶到睡著了。但前段還不錯：

戲的開頭，女人跟男人說，我們離婚吧。回家途中，女人跟男人說，你甚麼都不說嗎？男人說，你想我說甚麼？女人說，你不說我說了。我跟David睡了。男人說，不要再說，再說我跳車。女人繼續說，男人果然就跳車了。

我想，這女人真過分。

女人，從來都是很過分的生物。

＊

兒子學校家長會，男人因此跟女人再見面。他說：

And I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of the car, I should have fought for you. Cause you fight for your soul mates.

你記得嗎？那天，其實沒有人說過“分手”兩個字。

Have I fought for you at all? No, probably not.

Or maybe that's why I've been punching myself in the face these years.

愛作戰

這世界很多女子急於結婚,也有很多女子不急於結婚,沒有誰對誰錯. 這個節目的參賽者就是很想結婚的那群,同樣,沒有誰對誰錯. 咬牙切齒說:"誰說女人一定要嫁人!" 的那群人要想想啊,人家覺得不想找人嫁的話就不會上節目啦.厚道點, 別指著人家來罵嘛.

度橋教班女仔如何改變/改進之幾搵老公的,又再一次,沒有對與錯的. 女權主義者又跳出來說不要物化女性, 為甚麼要女人扮蠢去遷就男人, 不要自貶身價云云. o畏,要搵公的是你,當然是你去改變了,難不成你去搵工,要媒人婆逼那男的改變自己要求去遷就你? 媒人婆又何德何能了?!

說這節目毒害社會嗎? 我想,言重了吧. 會不會有人因為看了這節目而突然相信自己一定要整容去找對象? 我唔信lor.

另,絕不贊同女人應該扮蠢. 太像綿羊悶到出油,帶點傲氣的寸嘴女生才最可愛 :)

什麼都會變

在懸崖陪著妳 等到壽司都溫暖
誰和誰圍著妳 迴轉 叫妳挑選

不經不覺，去年今天，我，回來過。

廿四小時都夠長，更何況廿四個月。我知道，我，都變了。

都變了。

男人哭吧不是罪

兄弟們，總是無緣無故要弄個很有風度的樣子出來。

其實這樣做人好累啊，你不覺得嗎。

男人哭吧不是罪，咪死頂啦，兄弟。

上腦了...

離愁別緒都演完了　可是我忘不了
難道真的長不大　擁有過的總想要
曾經我和你　錯過甚麼
才要不停的說服自己　我快樂

－－《氾濫》

...咪再望啦，仆街。

妳知道嘛？

有個女孩很像妳。而我看見她，竟也就心跳加速了。

周公開玩笑

愚人節，連周公都要開我玩笑！

1 我在自己的blog裡寫了一點東西，內容大概是分析某公司前景的。我收到一個email，compliance department 問我，Ant in Office這個blog是不是我的。夢中我原本打算睡覺了，可是還是不放心，夢裡的我決定起身查查stock watch list，那公司明明已經除名了呀，我也不再是insider了吧。Compliance dept 隨即補上一個email，說我的blog被當局看到了，所以著他們警告我，下次不要再犯。臨時法通過了，一天是insider，一世都是insider。我扎醒了。然後想起，對了，我很少在blog裡做投資分析的。嚇死人o羊。

Btw，那不是紅籌。而是...哎，不說了。因為它在現實中是在stock watch list 上的。

2 醒了一會想再睡（現實中），不久後我在夢裡卻身處包機飛機場，看見一個牌，上面寫著接待各國元首的禮節級別，原來各國元首要來強國開國際會議。出奇的是，北韓的禮節級別是“national”，菲律賓的卻是“district"。我在夢裡說，”下？？？“旁邊有個警察，名叫陳淑萍，她說，”梗係啦！大部分香港人已經搬左去菲律賓，念在血濃於水份上，中國當左菲律賓係自己人架啦。“

在夢裡，我把這件事寫了在blog裡（just like now）。沒多久，有個陌生人按鐘，說是他們單位想請我去飲咖啡。我說，你單位？A室呀？他說，吾係o個種單位呀，扮白癡呀o靚仔？！我又扎醒了，在現實中寫下了這個entry。

我要再去睡了。周公呀周公，吾好再玩啦好吾好？！？！！？！？！

有時我在記憶空間找到你

SHAME!

This has been for so long, and I never really blogged about it. But today, I am angry. I really am.

A PRC Government official arrived in Hong Kong yesterday and meets different people, and what a coincidence, 2 major political parties all of a sudden LOVE one candidate over another. It doesn't matter if the public poll says most people want a hung vote instead of one particular candidate, you will HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE AND ANNOUNCE THAT YOU AND YOUR ASSOCIATION WILL VOTE FOR SOMEBODY to make sure that all your members will do the same.

Well, if this is not COERCION, I don't know what is. WHY THE FUCKING HELL would anyone hold a press conference to announce his voting preference? Of course I know what you are getting at, but hold on, this is really unheard of!

If you are manipulating the system anyway, please don't bother with all the drama. Just appoint a governor from your Beijing government. At least you're honest. Now you're fucking sick. This is a real shame.

用耳朵看戲

陪媽媽看《桃姐》，整套淡淡的，我很喜歡。可是看到一半，我還是受不了強光，閉上眼睛。但我沒睡著。證明這真是一套好戲。

這幾天開始多點閉上眼睛。看戲閉上眼睛，彈吉他閉上眼睛，連現在在電腦打的這幾句話，都閉上眼睛，張開才檢查對不對。

前陣子窮的連data 都用光，把data關掉，連whatsapp都不能。突然間卻發現，原來沒有，也真的不太壞。

皮鞋襯牛

MBA同學仔，尤其是４月時上課的part time或distance learning同學，大多都是年過30的uncle auntie。而我留意到，比較成熟的男人，同常會穿皮鞋襯牛仔褲。我跟朋友笑說，你都穿皮鞋襯牛仔褲，證明你是個中佬了。

＊

The responsibility loop

出一份results announcement，問auditor有無comment，auditor話看公司有無comment。問公司有無comment，公司問我有無comment。做一單deal要我話事我無野好講，點解連results announcement你都吾肯承擔一次？

想收工，唯有抵得唸D。我話無，公司話“o甘我都無啦”，auditor話“o甘我都無啦”，收工。

哎。

＊

近日看了一篇ＣＫ的文章，說了有關現在的男仔越來越似女仔的現象。

或許問題還未燒到我這一代吧，有關承擔問題，我到現在還是認為，by observation，男人是相對比較有承擔的。毫不猶疑就隊條o靚出去擋子彈；bulk print出去看演唱會；自己寫錯野先毀滅email再賴email system收吾到；問你野，一句唔識就full stop都唔諗下要research下補鑊；明明可以自己google都係要問人；在小弟短短幾年的工作經驗內，這全都是女人的勾當。反之，認識過的男同事，先不說責任感，as simple as 為了逞強，都要把屎拿上身，為免吹兩三嘴被人挑機，吾明都要research到明，最後是團隊得益。

當然我知道，女中有豪傑，男中有懦夫。不過CK有句話，雖然我吾能夠話佢錯，但也不能認同：

也許我係有點大男人主義，但男與女之間，在承擔既程度同責任，坦白講我認為係應該有點分別。男人強悍，並唔係表現響你有幾風光幾威水既層面之上。事實上，我認為一個男性既尊嚴所在，正係佢仲保留住對家庭、對團隊既一份承擔。

我覺得，膊頭、承擔，本來就跟性別沒有關係。需要問的是有沒有，不是需不需要。男人應該對團隊有承擔，難道女人就不需要對團隊有承擔？

抱有CK的觀點的危險是，有些人知道原來沒有人期望她們有承擔，還會承擔麼？慘在，沒有承擔分分鐘原來跑得更遠，升得更快，也就更不會表現出多少承擔來。承擔，本來跟性別沒有關係。但在女性於職場地位越來越高的社會，我們倒是需要提醒自己一下，一個人的爬升，是因為他／她真的比較能幹，還是因為，先天就有一堆麻甩硬是覺得對女性的要求可以低一點？

我會提出這個疑問，當然是因為，我是個女性。手頭上有3隻job，那天大哥突然問我要不要下order“叫肥仔跟番個annual report”，我一口拒絕了。我不敢問的是，到底是因為你以為我應付不來，還是因為你覺得我是女性就不應該辛苦？如果是前者，我倒是寧願你坦白一點，吾洗就住就住wor。

＊

今天星期五casual wear day，我趕著出門口懶得揀鞋穿，竟然就穿了皮鞋襯牛仔褲上班去。突然...感覺自己老了一點。

徒勞無功

沈佳儀：人生本來就有很多事是徒勞無功的啊。

＊

衝到9成8，臨門一腳突然煞制，那種對士氣的打擊是你無法想像的。最自然的反應，就是撻皮。我沒有再看那該死的circular。我沒有再像工頭般打電話叫兄弟開工。我開始在做一單完全不趕的刁。我whatsapp。就是不想再碰那瀕死的刁。我想起valuer公司那位仁兄，幾天前我趕他交貨，他回我說，“大佬，我收得佢好平ja。”我回他，“大佬，我地分分鐘無錢收呀。”

而我在撻皮的時候，有另一位仁兄繼續在看繼續在comment繼續在執這執那。平時覺得這位仁兄有時真的好鬼煩，堂堂director了連標點字體line spacing都要管。不過這天，我對他肃然起敬。我看著email。一直到11點多，他還在執。然後才發現，原來有這麼多silly mistakes，完全是因為lose heart才視而不見。仲逐個amendment同我解點解要改。我想，大概沒幾個阿哥會這麼有心。

“無論發生o羊事，都要discharge左自己既duty先。要話比人聽，可以做既，我都做左。”

或許，這就叫專業。

＊

人生本來就有很多事是徒勞無功的。最重要是，不要lose heart，可以做的，都把它體面的完成。

心理上已經準備好迎接職業生涯第二個lapse了。繼續努力，就當是對自己及千千萬萬棵樹有個交代罷。

我只喝了一點點酒

酒量淺，一紅一白已足夠讓我想起你。



最怕此生 已經決心自己過沒有你 卻又突然 聽到你的消息

那幾年春天

春天是香港一個很難頂的季節.牆壁出水,毛巾唔乾,出街滴汗.

今天早上,卻偶爾遇上那年春天的那股香氣.

有關你的種種,或許早已淡忘,但那年三月那股洗髮水的幽香,我應該一世都記得住.

近來可好?

風雨飄搖

去天機棧吃飯，那是西餐廳，不是澳牛，我不期望在我吃完的那一秒鐘，就有人過來收碟，更不期望碟上明明還有未吃完的沙律，已經有人急不及待要問我吃完沒有。

侍應可以收多幾隻碟，那，我可以做甚麼？

沒錯，我可以send多幾個email。在沒有人神智清醒的星期一早上，老細無啦啦call個progress meeting，整個department正經八百的在conference room坐成一圈，彷彿審判要來臨了。不過，不很eventful，眾人匯報過自己手頭上的工作以後，散會。

Sorry我會認，我是zero NPV club的核心成員。身為一個滿腦子憂患意識的處女座，做了個很cliche的動作：我連向大哥匯報同個客傾電話的內容，我都send email，cc老細，以證明我的存在價值。仔細老婆嫰的兄弟自然也搏老命，一個email分10個出，務求在老細mailbox内不斷掩掩揚揚，慌死炸不爆。

所以，嘿嘿，我決定原諒天機棧。不努力收多隻碟，豈能保住飯碗？！

外面風大雨大，而我卻從小到大，一直平安，套用基督用語，很感恩。朋友，抱歉我實在沒能力幫忙甚麼，只願你們都能堅強。You have all my supports.

等死會之光

前幾個禮拜有個師兄跟我說，看完小弟拙作無底線之鬼，差點想在office内哭出來，因為他看見了以前的自己，順口仲鬧我仆街寫埋D o甘既野。我心唸，男人老狗喊mud鬼呀你。既沒有得，自然沒有失，喊都無資格喊，只能硬食。不過，他這樣說，我很感動。畢竟，能夠完全明白我這種傻仔的fellow無底線之鬼，不多。

Quoted:無底線之鬼最distinctive的attribute是，太好手尾，窗未關好，不敢出門口；但卻往往沒能力自己去把窗關上。

師兄經歷了好幾年的無底線故事，數年前終於成為退伍軍人。今天，這位師兄宣布向現任女友求婚成功。悉日等死會的核心成員終於出嫁，這是感動的一刻。而我相信，just as always，你一定會繼續無底線下去，不過這次，是為了值得的人。

我那扇窗，也終於都關好了。世界，總是充滿希望的。

為甚麼竟然哭了

給你最後一封情書

你猜我寫了多久？

退伍軍人症

有太多話想說



我自己對著自己說了兩天
話，還沒說完。

不過妳別擔心，就算我消化不良或哽死，我都一定會把話吞進肚裡。

打婊記

大概兩個禮拜前，黃偉文演唱會第一場上演後全城哄動，門票熱炒至四位甚至五位數字，而原定看第一場的我，六點鐘才無奈放售，以48％ discount蝕讓，可能成為了全港唯一犧牲者。

一切因為某婊的神經刀。

Murphy’s law 永遠都中，昨天晚上我要看Hanjin，某婊又出動神經刀，3點鐘才說要submit，慌死大家Happy Friday無節目。在電腦前呆了10秒後，大哥遞上parties list，說，我比個電話你，你打電話去小佢呀笨。

業内人士一定知道，我們這行業，跟當娼分別不很大，日日被屌，手口並用，更要識指壓。最大分別是，真正的娼可以揀客，我們，不可以。

我打電話給printer，要他們快點出稿，他們問我是不是很急，我說，不是急，是好撚急。我今晚要看陳奐仁。電話對岸的Wilson說，收到！一定整你o個份先！雖然不知是真是假，雖然也明知，submission指令一確定，printer再快我也與紅館絕緣，此刻，我還是有點感動。

還在盤算是不是真的要跟老友說我放他第二次飛機之際，我支支吾吾對大哥說：我…今晚要看陳奐仁。命運就地改寫，只因我那落寞的神情。

我們打電話給auditor，逼他說technical未看完所以今天不能submit。還跟他說，no pressure架，你答我technical未看就可以。我們打電話給交易所，問他是不是等下個禮拜才submit比較efficient。他說都可以。o甘即係下個禮拜先會好D啦！吾該晒bye bye。此時，我不禁對大哥的指壓功力讚歎不已。

我出了個email，說交易所建議我們下個禮拜才submit。全中環，鬆一口氣了。不屬於中環的婊打來給我十萬個為甚麼。不過不要緊。其實，她也並不太婊。

陳奐仁，你戰勝了Murphy's Law。

大哥，我欠你10餐飯。


内有62歲Paul叔叔跟Masters in Biochemistry 的 Jason Cheng =)

大會堂演奏廳

上次adhoc唱K，玩懷舊系列，我們唱《大會堂演奏廳》。MV是LD時代拍的，裡面當然不會有李克勤，而是兩個九吾搭八的男女主角在大會堂前回憶一些事。片段裡，有皇后碼頭。皇后碼頭旁邊，有大會堂。今年大會堂50週年，港台弄了個特備節目細說她的歷史。她是香港第一個演奏廳。她是香港第一個公共圖書館。她是我爸媽註冊結婚的地方。她是legal year 開波的地方。中四那年我進去觀摩師姐們大會堂内玩HKMUN，立志中六也要進去型一鋪，還為中六那年大會堂裝修 HKMUN改地方去了West Island School 而大呼無癮。

有時我都不禁想，是不是真的因為我是港英餘孽？為甚麼看到已經不存在的皇后碼頭我會感觸？為甚麼我會覺得大會堂這麼型？為甚麼看足球會義無反顧的追捧英格蘭，為她的不爭氣而痛心（而且好像沒有為中國足球隊的不爭氣痛心）？為甚麼說起common law，三權分立，我會無比沾沾？為甚麼任何人問我那裡來，我一定答Hong Kong不答China？而且很多香港人跟我一樣？

因為香港最輝煌的日子，就是殖民地時代。

跟她一起時最快樂而跟你一起不快樂的話，有關她的一切，就永遠都最美。身為現任那個，動不動聽見前度的名字就神經緊張指手劃腳威脅斷水斷糧經濟封鎖還怪責你為甚麼會想起前度是不是對我不忠，實屬不智；那個前度，我本來不愛，現在反而愛。你給點自由度，可愛一點，不要強行改變我，不要嘗試陰D陰D“溝淡”我（及我的記憶），我自然就會愛你。就是這麼簡單。

更何況，我跟前人已經一百五十多年，跟你才十五年而已。你不太離譜，誰會想每天對罵？對住你這control freak十五年了，香港都壓根兒沒有人想過獨立，你說我不愛你？

甚麼？你一直當我是兒子？抱歉，一個城市不是靠誰懷胎10個月生出來的，是從沒有到有自己發展出來的。別誤會了。

若你問我為什麼文章會多了

我的cubicle離廁所比較遠，所以每次去廁所都會經過很多同事的座位，而且都會從後看到他們當時用電腦做什麼，所以亦會看見”萬人收window”的壯觀場面。其實，大家咁高咁大，何須忌諱我看見你上高登?坐我前面條o靚仔就坐老細房外面，日日打機打幾個鐘，打完機就淘寶，咁就真係有前途啦。正如某呀姐經過見到我在Ladbrokes.com 找何俊仁當選特首賠率，也不會說什麼。

大和今日炒了幾十人，而今日我能齋坐逗糧，實屬萬幸。只望auditor快點交貨，等我唔洗齋坐就好。因為，呢D新聞日日聽，你都咪話唔驚。

情人節快樂!

曾經說過，我有點怕女人的，因為歷史資料顯示，workplace外的女人很邪惡，workplace內的女人無膊頭(當然同時也可以很邪惡)，總體來說，都麻煩。坐小弟後面的那位已是唯一唯二的女同事，樣子卻竟然長得跟舊鋪的女上司一模一樣，簡直是揮不去的夢魘。

如今得嘗所願了。Working team全男班，人人有膊頭，conference call粗口橫飛，工作環境非常輕鬆，但也非常麻甩。只能說，凡事都有代價。今日情人節，中環拿著花的delivery boy一街都係，敝公司卻不負眾望，一片死寂，壯懷激烈，因為這裡沒有收花的人，只有送花的人。幾天前，人事又出現變動，雌性動物買少見少，我卻因此萌生想讀番LLB做番個律師的念頭。畢竟，又怕又愛乃人之常情。

朋友說我癡左線，嫌見女人唔夠多不如擺塊鏡在自己檯頭啦。

...究竟邊個癡線D?

祝大家有個輕鬆愉快的情人節 :)

不聽西歌

不夠熟識我的朋友可能不會知道，我其實完全不聽英文歌的。雖然浸鹹水浸了年半，還是不聽。做gym 被逼聽除外。

主要原因，是覺得西歌通常都好西。唱來唱去得一兩句，仲要o個一兩句通常都無mud意思，melody仲麻麻地，講詩意更遠遠不及中文歌。身為百份百港燦，要聽，當然聽cantopop！

＊

在會考中文課程還有課文要背的年代，我有想過在幾代以後，學生要背的應該是《燕尾蝶》。去年7月去了德國的Dresden，看見那該死的吊臂在建那條該死的擋住靚景的橋，Dresden因而被UNESCO除牌，我腦内就響著這首歌。

會考沒有了，幾代以後，廣東話說不定也沒有了。以後還有誰會記得這歌詞說甚麼？

＊

一向不特別喜歡容祖兒，覺得她歌有點太cliche。原來我今天第一次現場聽她唱live。那我明白為甚麼她紅了。尤其是Twins出現後，我更加明白。

很好笑的一個位：當Twins已經唱了《明愛暗戀補習社》、《愛情當入樽》、《二人世界盃》及說了一堆廢話後，說，“以下落o里我地會唱兩首歌...” 此時全場起哄，不少人耳語（但大聲地耳語，紅館很嘈嘛），“仲來兩首o甘多？！吾係呀嘛...” 可見雙生兒之地位非凡。他們現在還能上台唱，除了多得伍樂城，肯定也多得Wyman。

＊

西歌的一大堆"Ra ra ooh lala"，邊鬼個吾識填？中文歌的重點是，每首歌都在說故事。中文詞中，又以廣東詞最難填，9個音不能亂來，否則就會釀成謝金燕《嗶嗶嗶》大災難。

黃偉文，雖然其實我不特別喜歡聽你講廢話，但我聽你寫的歌長大。You are great. Thank you.

＊

我知道我有些讀者不是香港人，又剛發現梁靜茹原來都有一首《燕尾蝶》，為免誤會，我說的是這首：



不懂廣東話的你，只要看得懂就OK了 :)

發惡夢

我殺死了一個人。

他死了，我很難過，彷彿不是我殺死他一樣。

演技太好了，全世界沒有人不相信我。

醒番，驚到標冷汗...

Ant back in office - Week 1

1. 對天氣仍然極不敏感，落街買飯竟然唔記得著大褸。好彩只係去大家樂。

2. 為仆街客放了老友飛機，一萬個對唔住，下次請食飯。仍在研究是否可以問客claim番錢。

3. 另，希望薛凱琪不是今晚嘉賓。

4. 沒有authority寸9人極為痛苦。

5. 7，7，6，9，8，9.5，指每日放工時間，so far，so good。

6. 相較出國讀書前的和尚寺，已見一大進步；唯周遭環境麻氣仍甚重。還望公司能一盡企業社會責任，在最後一個空位內填入美女一名，而且不要為了去除麻氣而炒我。哈。

7. 運用邏輯去思考人的說話，很易出事。他媽的。

無底線之鬼

兩年前，我去了台灣旅行，買了一本台灣雜誌給妳做手信，封面是妳最喜歡的。妳收到那份禮物那個笑容，大概就是那一刻，我回不了頭了。

朋友，我從來沒當過妳是朋友。

＊

我其實不很喜歡看電影。

眼睛天生就很弱，待在黑暗的空間看著一堆光兩個小時其實好辛苦，每次看完都昏昏欲睡，累到不得了。偏偏妳最愛看電影。而我大概沒說過，認識妳之前，我從來都不怎麼留意最近上演甚麼。電影對我來講，就分“好看”與“不好看”，講完。而妳，總是能說出更深一層的分析，想我沒有想過的角度。妳就是不一樣。

＊

那次，我問妳要不要看王迪詩舞台劇，妳說不了，工作好忙，結果我約了別人。某天，半夜我收到妳的text，說很不開心，想看的王迪詩舞台劇、周杰倫演唱會都爆了。漏夜research，原來王迪詩加場明天就開售，我早上準時十點上urbtix，urbtix卻塞車，我趁老細去廁所偷雞閃了出去，飛落大會堂買了兩張票給你，不是要跟妳看，只是想逗妳開心。妳給我一句“You're my hero”，我沾沾到現在。雖然那該死的舞台劇turns out 根本不好看。

周杰倫飛熱炒，妳說兩千蚊真的沒辦法接受，我狂打人情牌，搭通舊同學的女朋友的哥哥的朋友，請他原價賣給我。周杰倫開show時我已飛到英國了，我一定沒份看，但我只想逗妳開心。妳拿著票的樣子超滿足。離開香港前那天，妳替我提早慶祝生日，那是我那年唯一一個生日蛋糕。我暗中發誓從英國回來後，一定要把妳追到手。

＊

這年，不住的遊山玩水，羨煞旁人。每次旅行我只寄一張明信片，朋友都好奇是誰，因為我不像是會寄明信片給自己那種人。

妳在我生日卡說過想過來英國找我玩。我連妳過來的時候要帶妳去那裡玩都想好了。當然，我知道妳沒承諾過甚麼。後來妳說不來了，我只想了兩天就決定買機票回香港，那怕只是回來兩個禮拜，因為我好掛念妳。剛著地，妳給我text叫我安全抵達就給妳回覆。這比爸媽開車來接我更窩心，我真是衰仔包。

妳有說過，one year can change many things。那時我離開香港不夠一年，我卻驚覺，一直很cautious不想改變自己的我，追不上妳的步伐。我有想過再開口，卻神推鬼擁說不出口，因為面對妳，我從來都只懂9up與傻笑。上機，回英國。或許，這是命。

＊

有想過我真的可以無底線。

我們沒有common friend，不是同事，不是舊同學，不是hallmate。沒有大棚人聚會，只有二人餐。要見到你就要多花3倍力氣，找你會想看的，找你會喜歡的。約妳不能太頻密，怕妳生厭也怕吃妳的檸檬，因為每次失敗而回我都要down好一陣。

妳同事很好，我替妳開心；妳同事不好，我更開心，因為妳會更掛念我。妳跟我說誰的不是，我忍手不落藥，因為我想保持中立，我想妳相信我。雖然我一早說過我不喜歡誰，雖然我想煮死佢好耐，雖然我不能每天見到妳我妒嫉得要命，雖然他在追求妳我立刻幫妳做due d看看他是不是好人。因為，就算我追不到妳，我都希望那個妳的他是個好人。無論如何，妳只需要說一句，鮮花一定到。雖然我不知道那該死的卡打錯了甚麼。

i n a^ol !

但今天，妳跟我說，“I am sure, I cannot make a comparison with those best friends of yours too.”

那是當然的。因為朋友，我真的從來沒有把妳當過朋友。妳的位置從來都比朋友高一點。底線就是，妳不要說那種"很珍惜我們之間友誼"之類的廢話，因為你不是我朋友，你是我愛的女孩，最愛的女孩。

最核心的核心價值

走過大三巴區附近，有個婆娘拿著牛肉乾讓途人試食。我用廣東話問，“可吾可以試下？” 個婆娘立刻西面，bear了我一野，然後很寸的說，“吾可以wor。”

老實講，我吾係嬲，我是好撚嬲。食你塊牛肉乾，又吾係食你全家！做mud呀而家！

澳門的朋友仔說，我又講廣東話又沒有掛著相機，那婆娘應該以為你是澳門本地人，所以有這樣的反應。

我的疑惑是，點解對著自己人反而要態度差？聽到廣東話要立刻西面，你會覺得好過癮嗎？這樣做人，開心嗎？

又或者簡單一點，你會希望自己被人這樣對待嗎？為甚麼將心比己這麼難？

******

從來都沒進過賭場，今天頭一遍。付了20元學費，至少搞懂了俄羅斯輪盤怎麼玩。站在別人旁邊看看怎麼玩其他的遊戲，然後發現大家都在把籌碼疊來疊去，好不無聊。輸的不見得很沮喪，贏的又不見得很興奮。買大買小，反正不需要用腦決定，哪有開心不開心可言？

紙醉金迷，金碧輝煌，走了一個下午，我想嘔。

******

沈旭輝就寫過，一個國家是需要一套核心價值去維繫。美國人會愛美國，因為這個國家珍惜民主公平，你留在自己的國家是會有機會有希望的。歐洲人多半都愛自己的國家，因為國家愛自己的人民，會保障他們都有優質的生活。台灣人愛台灣，因為他們有希望。說到底，誰不為自己？你認同國家的核心價值，你自然就會愛。

但坦白說，如果我的城市告訴我，她的核心價值就是賭，我寧願死左佢好過。對不起澳門的朋友仔，我也知道這不是你們可以選擇的。雖然這不是新聞，親眼看總是衝擊比較大。

然後看看中國，她的核心價值是甚麼？她的核心價值就是凡事都要以國家利益出發，人民要愛國。你愛國是因為甚麼？是因為要愛國。那是因為甚麼？因為要愛國。那是因為甚麼？

唐豬說捍衛核心價值是最核心的核心價值，但“較不核心的核心價值”包括甚麼，卻一點都說不出來。好，不說就不說沒關係，到有一天你真的要說的時候，千萬別跟我說香港的核心價值是“背靠中國面向世界”就好了。

星火不滅

朋友仔第一次來香港，我不經意的提出去西環飲茶，找個藉口回港大走一轉。蒲飛路走下去食宵，西環海旁，施德何東，走勁過橋去兩大散隊，Joseph餐廳跟教授吃飯，開心公園内我沒出場的辯論semi，一幕一幕的甜蜜，成就我人生中最無憾的歲月。

原來我比想像中更愛我的母校。走過國殤之柱，陸佑堂，太古橋，我能以舊生身份向台灣的朋友介紹最能代表（我以為的）港大核心價值的景點，無比沾沾。

誰不曾熱血過？怕就怕在，事隔幾年，發現連核心價值都不一樣，你熱血都無叉用。朋友問，大學那邊不會洗掉“民主星火不滅”嗎？我說，不會，至少foreseeable future不會，但further future就難說。

我只希望，這一天來到之前，我會已經死掉了。

新年快樂！

多得新年無節目，終於租了"The Blind Side" 來看。沒有特別感覺Sandra Bullock演得特別好，只是覺得她角色設計得很討好而已。Anyways。

故事不煽情很感人。感受很深的是那對仔女；啊仔是第一個願意在學校裡跟Big Mike 說話的人；啊女在學校裡無視朋輩奇異目光，在圖書館自動自覺的坐在身旁潮撐Big Mike。不需要人提醒，也不覺得自己在施捨，只覺得這是應分做的。

因為，父母是甚麼人，教出來的仔女也必然是甚麼人。

所以嘛，發達應該是沒有我份的了，但總算樂意做個勤勤懇懇的打工仔。初十回歸中環，for real, I can't wait!

你快樂所以我快樂

1 有跟朋友說過，自殺死不了的話，很難再來第二次。

2 如果你開心是因為我，我會好很開心。

3 如果你不開心然後找我，我都會開心。你開心番我就仲開心。

4 那末，兩岸和平穩定就應該維持了？

.........

末日

身邊有幾個朋友這幾天開口埋口末日。事業型朋友仔說，有錢好快D洗，如果到末日時仲有錢剩就好蝕。不過如果turns out 無末日就仆街啦。

小弟錢就洗得7788，可以一死。不過老實說，我本來就不信這一套，不是我樂觀，而是，屌，我都想有o甘簡單啊。全世界一齊死，其實真係無問題，怕就怕在，你想死，都無o甘容易。但我就當生命有這麼簡單：

日子若果不多了，還想怎花？

今天晚上我做了個自殺式的舉動，做了一萬個what－if analysis，再呆坐了一句鐘，我終於按制了。我猜想，自殺真的需要很多很多勇氣。

林海峰說的，This City is Dying, 不過Die，都要Die 得有型。

無辜或者講不上 無奈不假

自殺不遂，有的，不一定是後福；但未來，還得要看自己做化。

2011。完

這一年，主題是掛念。

回家，最詭異的是，似乎沒有多少人記得我沒多久前回來過。老媽子不記得，嬤嬤不記得，爺爺不記得，連姐姐都說不記得。然後都問，對了，你4月回來幹嘛？我說，就為了回來啊。而兩次回來，感覺還是一樣：又愛又怕。我愛美食，但怕那該死的鼻敏感。我愛那便捷的交通，但怕看到自己熟悉的人的變得太快。我愛這裡很多娛樂，但怕原來太多娛樂誰都再沒興趣跟誰說話。

妳還要再想嗎？妳要不要回家？

那天，我吃過妳們親手煮的星洲炒米，聊兩句，天竟然就黑了，簡直晴天霹靂。天黑的那一刻，我決定了， 回家，始終是不二之選。

＊

這一年，主題是掛念。

大家都說我今年去了很多旅行，但我覺得不是啊，好多地方還沒有去，北歐幾個國家沒去，東歐沒去，瑞士沒去，數起來，我旅行過的國家數目還不如我那些從美國過來3個月的同學仔。但相對於集郵式的旅行，我更珍重旅行中的那誰。旅行，不再是為了旅行，反而變成探望相聚的副產品。去柏林，去伊斯坦堡，回倫敦，主要都是為了見朋友。居於法國卻沒有去過法國多少地方，但留在巴黎陪著來看我的朋友們，肯定更重要。所以，還是不留遺憾。然後我發覺，就算我本來跟一個人不熟，在異地重遇，總是一樣窩心。

＊

朋友已走。這可算是我第一次，感受很深，卻沒辦法送行。

親愛的，無論你有多遠我有多忙，我都想見你。

＊

我快樂有時
我叫悶有時

也算上天的恩賜


回頭是憤慨
看不到未來

於年月裡比賽

如果可以用腳走路，為甚麼要坐車？
如果可以事前找路，為甚麼要用GPS？
如果有正路可以走，為甚麼要走捷徑？

時光機永未及發明　哪裡覓證明
轉季讓半山結冰
這嘀嗒　又嘀嗒
時鐘似簷蓬滴雨聲

一切還原基本步。與其去追逐甚麼新科技新潮流新興行業新機會新機遇，以不變應萬變，風水輪流轉，總有一日輪番到我。憨居？Yes。但慘得過我過到自己。

仰首太空　再看清一片藍圖星宿

怎麼那北斗永亮透

只可半生奔馳　好比試管嬰兒
空間裡的真相不會知

永遠沒法預知哪日得你重視。
但我是一個防中。我仲頂得順。

掉那媽，頂硬上，同胞們，共勉之。

就是有一種人

無論她做甚麼
你都沒辦法生氣

真傻假傻
我都分不清

哈。

仰首太空 再看清一片藍圖星宿

說起變

天與地，說起變。

“現在很明顯只有你在變。”Dr. Dylan 對佘詩曼說。

但這個世界，是否真的這麼clear cut，就只有某個人變而其他人沒有？其實我相信大家都在變，問題只是，變好了還是變壞了？

或許在你妳你妳你的眼中，我已變成一個宅／煩氣／sae guae／悶蛋的人也說不定。

我不知道，但我想知道。

＊

有想過。人生中很多關係都這樣，隨風就消失了。有人說，cest la vie，係o甘架啦，成熟點，看開點。
你當我不成熟也好，隨風而去，卻不是我case close的方式。

我盤算著，我怎麼面對你，你又會怎麼面對我。會難堪嘛？會尷尬嘛？會不捨嘛？

都會。

但，刻意不去面對，大概是最差最差的方案。就像鐵證懸案，讓它封塵，就變成永遠的遺憾。

Wonderful tonight

I never thought I would miss this damned city but yes, I think I would miss it after all. The tower, the museums, the steak tartare, the crepes, the cafes. And the lovely fellows.

It's been like a dream. These 15 months. Meeting awesome people. Learning about myself. Knowing how much I loved home. And knowing how much love I actually need.

I still remember the moment when I decided to do this. I was excited. I was hesitant. I was excited. I was hesitant. But I was excited.

And now it's the time for the excitement to die down. The dream is over. I want to go home. But at the same time I know there are issues I don't want to face back there. But I want to go home. But I don't want to.

December moody fits. Hurts like hell. I've had two glasses of red, I know what happens after that, and crying in the party is the last thing I want to do. So I skip the Xmas party and go home.

Still early. The Xmas lights in Versailles are still on. Thanks be to God. It's beautiful. From Versailles Chantiers I just go straight on, ignoring all red lights on the way. Caring about nothing except the beautiful boulevard surrounding me. I sing loudly along with the music I'm playing in my headphones.

"I was a stranger in a city
Out of town where the people I know
I had that feeling of self pity
What to do what to do what to do
The outlook was decidedly blue
But as I walked through the foggy streets alone
It turned out to be the luckiest day I've known..."

Just think, if at the crossroads there's a driver who couldn't realize I am there...

Wouldn't that be nice to just die today?

It's wonderful tonight. And all of a sudden, maybe, just maybe, I don't want to go home anymore.

How to become a Parisian

話說李克勤有首經典舊歌叫 One Night in Paris:



浪漫得你呀。

＊

大概所有在巴黎生活過的人都心知肚明，巴黎，只有沒有來過的人會覺得浪漫。

＊

或許，兩個人一起的話，在最不浪漫的地方都可以是浪漫的。

Awkward friends

最遠的距離，不是physical distance

而是，科技明明發達，而你連跟我溝通的心思都不再願意花。

難得建立過的信任，你需要我時，我一定會在。而且我不願意改變我對你的支持。

*

心酸酸的。

我想知道自己錯了甚麼，但最怕發現，不需要自己做錯甚麼，結果都會一樣，

因為你變了。

*

你還會掛念我嘛？

Swing Swang Swung - Goodbye the magicians

第一次接觸Snowman，是在勁歌金曲，他們唱了《下一站》。

1999／2000年，那是VRF 的年代。那是E-kids 的年代。當時每看到男子組合就會想嘔。

《下一站》不是我最喜愛的那種歌，但一聽就知道，Snowman是不一樣的。

＊

有關Eric

《一枝花》、《喜帖街》、《貝多芬與我》、《有個人》、《幸福摩天輪》、《最佳損友》、《落花流水》、《夕陽無限好》，哪首不經典。他證明了，商業化不需要老土，也證明了，K歌都可以超襟聽。

另，這姓郭的傢伙肯定是郭德榮的細佬。


（Demo: 當荃灣愛上柴灣。喜歡曲，但更喜歡詞。從前覺得，從新界回家的路像一世都坐不完。現在住Versailles就明白，陪她回去的那個，應該不會比她自己更難過。）

＊

有關Jerald

Jerald風格，慢歌懶洋洋，總會聽得很輕鬆。快歌跳脫，但總不會是我最討厭的dance music。超喜歡《Opening Day》（因為從未派台所以差不多無人認識，那是《On Fire》專輯内的歌），奔放的trombone叫人很懷念Symphonic Band 的日子。當然，更喜歡他的shoo－be－doo；阮小儀破壞了《小流星》（sorry to say），但Jerald那段scat singing卻救活了一首歌。


（如果你有聽過原唱Blue Jeans 版本的《下雨天》，你就會知道多了中間的shoo－be－doo 會有多大分別。）

那時Juno出道，人人喊打，滿手爛歌，甚麼《愛上殺手》、《大風吹》聽到我高呼wtf。後來我聽到《非公開表演》，對Juno又完全改觀。Jerald與Juno把聲都是很高音的，《放棄愛情》、《不戀愛更好》、《原地轉》、《超生培慾》等，風格match得天衣無縫；just like magic，因為Jerald發功，我開始喜歡Juno了。

＊

Snowman改名Swing，第一首《Shut Up》也不是最好聽的歌，但jam了電話鈴聲，越聽越過癮；《1984》剛好聖誕節時推出，Last Christmas Version 帶我發掘了一大堆新 chords；有一段時間很討厭彈琴，《黑雨天白鋼琴》叫我趁黑雨天再打開我的啡鋼琴；《帝國大廈》用爛鼓編曲記念911；《大大公司》是job seekers的飲歌（你看一下歌詞就會明白了）；《男人不可以窮》則是女奴飲歌，哈。

我記得Form 4，我們一起去看森小的《冬音宮》，featuring SWING。你們記得嗎？Form 5 graddin的表演，5B 用維他奶玻璃樽吹校歌，我還編了一點和音呢。靈感就是來自Eric，Jerald，森跟小（不過玻璃樽沒有tune 好，聽到Ms. Yu 皺眉頭 :P）。

Swing的歌，詞不美，簡單到你吾信，但幾過癮。Swing的字典裡沒有沈重。生活已經夠沈重了，聽歌，不需要更多悲傷的情緒。等運到，聽《一命二運三風水》；被女飛，聽《半張飛》；吾想番工，聽《宇宙洪荒》。很多歌聽完只會enhance一個人不開心的情緒：呢首歌講緊我， 我是全世界最慘的人，我最慘所以要嚎叫飲泣巴撚閉。Swing的歌卻不然，一切都淡淡的，life goes on，笑下啦。

2009年復出後，我最喜歡《麵包生命》。平和的編曲＋Wyman的歌詞，在我英國捱飽的日子是何其重要的警示？

音樂，應該要是快樂的。

＊

Goodbye SWING。

那些年，你們不在幕前，but the magic was still there. And I hope it will still be there.



願Jerald加拿大生活愉快 。Eric+Grace 新婚快樂。

＊

連Swing都變成“那些年”，唉。

Midnight in Paris

Everybody says Paris is the most romantic place in the world.

Is it because of the river?
Is it because of the Tower?
Is it because of Notre Dame?
Is it because of Pont Alexandre?

No.

It's because of its timelessness.

What time does it close? 4:45 French time. What time does it open? 3pm French time. When will the train come? 0:06 French time.
In reality it means 4:30, 3:30pm and 0:40 respectively. Or it could mean 4:15, 4pm and 0:50. You'd never know. Woody Allen says it all. I didn't like the film, but yes, timelessness is indeed the magic of Paris. Just in another way.

Is it romantic? Yes. Because you love it, and you hate it. Without that hate, nah, I guess it would be just too perfect to make any sense.

*

Use one word (in English) or two words (in Chinese) to describe yourself. Then ask several of your friends to think up one word (in English) or two words (in Chinese) to describe you.

Let me know if you are as confused as I am now.

一千零一夜

“其實你過到自己個關就無問題。好多人會話，你吾開心，就係時候止蝕。但我覺得，甚至吾開心都吾一定要止蝕，只要你過到自己個關就得。o甘幾時會過吾到？你過吾到的時候就會知。”

沒有值不值得，只有想，與不想。

*

等她的笑　等她的愛
等她等了不知不覺一千夜
等她的吻　等她擁抱
輾轉不覺花開等到花凋謝
讓我每夜暖一些
回憶日作有一個落漠造夢者

Oh Juliet　已一千個夜
Juliet　再等幾個夜
會對我好些　若愛情可借
盼今晚　你可否暫借

等她哭了　等她傷了
等她等了一千加上多一夜
等心死了　等她需要
等她知道　終於等到她感謝
若要每夜暖一些
情願像妳變一個
幸運被愛者

盼今晚　你可否暫借

我終於想起為甚麼想起這首歌了！

願我可

沈迷或放棄 亦無可不可
毫無代價唱最幸福的歌

*

跟老友說起，這幾個月都有點dead air
原來不用廣東話說無聊話是很有難度的
很多無聊trap 在肚裡面
有點要爆炸的感覺

你平時在香港週末會做甚麼？

今天non-HK朋友仔問我這個問題。因為佢覺得香港就等於行街，但佢又知我吾鍾意行街。

我答：打波，食飯，帶狗玩。

我發覺，其實我個人都幾悶架wor。

Wei，吾好跌入去等死會啊！醒呀！強！

伊斯坦堡

每天盲目的尋找 到底甚麼我想要
卻發現迷了路 怎麼找也找不著

原來是這樣的

死亡，這麼遠，原來又不遠。

＊

跟妳沒有很熟悉。

印象中，妳就是一個傻更更的可愛女孩。

進大學後，在Haking熱狗檔外碰見過妳幾次。每次都問妳近來可好，上莊嗎？搞緊mud。

跟妳沒有很熟悉。但知道消息，還是覺得太震撼。

＊

願妳在天國仍然掛著那傻更更的可愛笑容。

寫在十月十日

我記得去年今天，第一次參加台灣同學會的活動，那時慶祝十月十日“國慶”。去的原因好簡單，有人叫我去吃飯怎麼會不去。搞手們又揮動青天白日滿地紅旗甚麼的，我感覺格格不入自己有點odd。

但細心去想。十月一日跟十月十日，哪個才是真正的國慶？

一百年前，孫中山等發動辛亥革命，佔領整個武昌，推翻清政府，結束帝制。那是中國人歷史輝煌的一天，我完全不用懷疑。

一九四九年十月一日，共產黨打敗國民黨，成立中華人民共和國，這個十月一日也變成正式的國慶。但你問我，那是中國人歷史輝煌的一天嗎？我卻有點...說不出來。

＊不喜勿插＊

台灣人一般都會說自己不是中國人是台灣人。中國同胞們也或許會不高興。這說法也一般被認為是政治不正確。

但同時，如果中國內地（及香港及澳門）人會慶祝十月一日，即慶祝中華人民共和國成立，即慶祝一個基於打敗了國民黨才成立的政府。現在的台灣人明明就是共產黨當年打走的那班人，你現在還慶祝自己當年打走了那班人，那就是根本沒有當過他們是自己人了吧？不然自己人打贏自己人有啥好慶祝的？

我開始有點搞不懂了。

當然你也可以說，辛亥革命，推翻了當時腐敗的清政府；內戰結束，推翻了當時貪污腐敗的國民黨政府...所以十月一日很值得慶祝。

但按此推論，十月一日要慶祝的話，十月十日還是沒有理由不慶祝。雖然我大概也是不會揮動青天白日滿地紅旗，不過中華人民共和國的國旗，我也是一樣沒有揮過。

況且，這個島，是唯一中國人能真正擁有民主的地方。光是這個existence，也夠值得慶祝了吧。

RIP Steve Jobs

我自問是一個technology laggard，昨天晚上跟友人談起Steve英年早逝，她說沒想過你會關注。

我說，我沒有iphone，但有Macbook，所以也算半個Mackie吧。Macbook用了一年多，也明白了為甚麼有些人成功有些人不。蘋果的設計關注用家的每一個需要，你平時用電腦會遇到的問題，他們都有想過。每一個難題，大又好細又好，都是改進的機會，也都是勝過對手的機會，也都是贏得掌聲的機會。同樣，日本雖然經濟滑落，但她的文化卻一直受人景仰，就是那種kaizen，那種對生活的關懷，教你不得不佩服。

我討厭英國人不善改進的同時，卻一直發現自己沒有好到哪裡去。我不是一個curious的人，也不是一個entrepreneurial的人。砌一個model，如果已經懂得既有的方法，我很少會去找更快的方法。教授一直強調“This is not user friendly"，我發覺我從來沒有關注過這問題。

我過的人生，是一個讓家人都放心的人生，是每個下一步都非常清楚明確的人生，但同時，也可能是一個永遠衝不破框框的人生。有目標，有收成，但沒有WOW。因為我會settle。因為我不會keep looking。

多得大家在fb的分享，聽過Steve在Stanford的演說，感動了。

我不是說我現在就決定要創業甚麼的。但生活裡，對人，對工作，少一份assumption，多一份關懷，也多一份好奇，我想，我總能做到。

Stay hungry, stay foolish. 我希望我能做到。

寫在十月一日

很多論調在說，保衛香港，反對陸沈，我們她們分得很清楚。彷彿人家現在要攻打香港一樣。

可能個人感情影響吧，我是菲傭帶大的，早已把她當成自己人。不同膚色而已，難道就可以把一起生活相處的經歷抹掉？

在一個地方生活工作7年，你會覺得這地方不是你的家？我在英國才一年，再討厭她跟她八字再不合，她也是我半個家啊。

很多人嫌人家低技術勞工，但在香港發展最關鍵的時候，沒有她們的貢獻，香港女性在社會，職場的地位絕對不會像現在，走在世界前線。

香港人，憑甚麼看不起外傭？Cosmopolitan，你還夠膽認嗎？你還夠膽做嗎？

沒有接納、欣賞不同人的胸襟，香港真要滅亡的話，不會是因為大陸人，不會是因為菲傭，只會是因為自己沈淪。

＊

《釋法》

現在局勢很簡單，都七年了，她今天上門要你給個名分。

要是你動不動就找個大佬釋個法去把人打發掉，未來就不要怪大佬永遠都當你是二打六小嘍囉。

不要釋法，請不要釋法。

真愛是真的嗎？

近來鬧得最熱烘烘的話題，是女作家高慧然在爽報的專欄《靚女橫行》内一篇文章《他憑甚麼追我？》。還沒有看過的，可到這裡看看:
http://www.hihiforum.com/thread-39626-1-1.html

Forum網友反應奇大，很多人說這女的這副樣子憑甚麼大言不慚，正港女，樣衰兼無品（下刪一萬字）...

老實說，我是不能理解為甚麼大家都會真心的以為她在說自己，並加以歧視。本人認為，作者不應被歧視的原因有二：
1 內容很明顯不是真心話，因為太弱智了。既然不是真心話，沒有理由歧視她沒有自知之明。
2 如果內容真的是真心話，她很明顯就是弱智了。我們不應該歧視弱智人士，因為這違反殘疾歧視條例。

反正作者已經澄清了，說這只是第一身故事寫作手法，證明她不是弱智。我個人對這文章沒有甚麼意見，老實說，論狠辣文筆，本人認為高小姐絕對不夠王迪詩綴核；但就網友的follow up 討論，我的感受卻很深。似乎很多人並不發覺內容有反諷的意味，認為高小姐是真心膠，才會對之口誅筆伐。然後我在想，這是為甚麼？？

*********

看過我偶像張如城新歌的全新MV，我，開始明白了。


看著這MV，一開始只是覺得，wow，好dum本啊！專程到北京取外景，還請了dancer跟老外在長城fing紅旗打鼓！

直到最後，發現原來老外跟dancer們，都是中央電視台提供的人員。我shock了一shock。他，得到了中央的祝福啊。

...這是真的嗎？

*********

甚麼是真，甚麼是假，我發覺我已經吾識得分。我望住杯内黑色的咖啡，我望吾透，呢個世界仲有幾多野我係掌握到？我好迷惘。

隨著這世界越來越多真心膠出現，我想，像《他憑甚麼追我？》的這類爭議，只會越來越多。

Navigo

整個禮拜都在想要不要買Navigo (巴黎版八達通/oyster)。太多條件太多選擇，眼花撩亂。Zone 3-4 一個價，Zone 1-4一個價，斷週計一個價，斷月計又一個價。Navigo 29歐一個禮拜，實在很那貴。不用Navigo 的話，另外一個方法是一次過買10張票，比逐次買票的價錢打了個7折。問題在於，metro的票在上學的火車不能用，上學的火車票從Versailles去巴黎不能用，Versailles去La Defense的票去St Lazare 不能用...結論是我要隨身帶著3堆不同的票。

如此一來就要開始算自己一個禮拜會有多少天上學，會有多少天去巴黎玩，從而算出哪一個比較便宜。慘在法國學校的timetable十分法國，充滿randomness，一個禮拜上一天課，下一個禮拜上四天，再下一個禮拜又只有兩天。抵與不抵，實在無從計算。就算assume自己一個禮拜有3天出去巴黎，也不一定能值回那29歐。但如果去每一個景點都搭metro的話，條數又吾同計法。但如果景點與景點之間用走路的，多點東西看其實比較過癮。但如果集中一個禮拜去不同的巴黎景點的話就抵到爛了，問題是，我明明住在這裡，為甚麼要玩得像個遊客？但如果...

人窮，縮數，煩到喊。

大原則是，我不想因為付了upfront payment而逼自己非出去不可。人，不應該因為“宅”而感到愧疚。所以，我今天又窩在房間裡，等住今晚出去踢波。

朋友們，我還是等你們來找我才買Navigo吧 =)

First quartile － check!

Papa Tarek once asked me：You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you do sports, what is your exit plan?

Honestly, I don’t have an exit plan. Though I am leading a (probably) extremely healthy and (possibly) boring life (no clubbing and else), but actually, I don’t want to live THAT long. So I hope, today I have reached at least one fourth of my life. If it’s one third, I guess that’s even better. (*wink)

＊

感謝Facebook諸位洗板式祝賀，另inbox message及skype message不計其數。

去年生日很安靜，因為剛踏足英國還在jetlag中。今年在法國，更安靜，上了一課excel modelling，然後回家去。有想過今天不如吃豪華一點當是跟自己慶祝，在Marche 附近走來走去看有甚麼好餐廳。然後發現，我個人始終孤寒底， 天價鵝肝田螺，遠不及抵食夾大件14歐crepe套餐食得安樂。豪華大餐，還是留待跟良朋知己一起吃才算享受。

由Jouy走上campus每天身水身汗，再加Versailles Chantiers回家要走路超過30分鐘（單車應該10分鐘吧），呢3個月，想肥都難。

在我鯨吞兩個crepe加一個沙律的同時，卻不知何故，腦内浮現了一碟窩蛋免治牛肉飯。

＊

二三二四，工作了三年，感覺自己經歷了人生的低潮，很殘很累，機件故障，頻頻死火。

不像大部份人，我早幾年沒有exchange的經驗，不過遲到，總好過無到。 出走剛好一周年，看到不一樣的世界，不一樣的人，不一樣的角度。

世界是如此的大，二十五年，才不過夠你學懂這一點點。路還遠，豈能言倦？

大個仔啦，撻番著架車，再上路罷。

＊

多謝把我帶到這世界的兩老。個人並不是非凡出眾之流，但多得兩位在我成長路中從來都讓我自行碰釘（當然也同時給予無限量支持），小弟可謂經歷千奇百趣，無得威都叫做有得講呀 。

這一年，最深的體會是，原來已經很快樂。

＊

近排好多人問，所以正式announce 一次：香港時間12月19日，凱旋回歸！

遇見chok樣怪獸

Chok 樣怪獸今日坐我隔離，un腳un到我暈車浪。低頭拿番個袋，該名怪獸竟然除左鞋繼續un 腳，而且，佢著converse但無著襪！@@

New motto

肚仔餓，腳仔軟，頂硬上，be a man!

你是甚麼人，就必到哪裡去

可能是之前在Mannheim的經歷比較不如意。可能是因為有參加足球隊。可能是因為這裡鳥不生蛋。也可能是因為我generally比較容易對一個團體有attachment。

但我絕對相信，能夠互相connect的人，就自然會走到一起。結果來到WBS，打的是羽毛球不是哥爾夫；喝的是可樂不是紅酒；玩的是UNO不是德州撲克；說的是別人多厲害不是自己多有錢。無論世界怎變，我們，大概也只能是這個樣子，變也變不了。

型嗎？不型。 我們不是top business school，但有些東西，真的比ranking重要，no grapes involved。華威人，謙虛，務實，有禮而不失幽默感。值得沾沾。

在這裡最後一天，我只想到這個。

I was just joking

OK when did we last talk about this?

I was bluffing with Mr. Koo about changing his dissertation topic to "The factors leading Liverpool citizens to become fans of Everton instead of Liverpool FC". So Mr. Koo asked me for a quote to help him write his dissertation. I quoted 4000 quid.

Hard to believe somebody (not from our uni) actually approached me for this purpose. Strangely enough, the guy contacted me and said his friend needed to go home and get married, and didn't have time to do his dissertation. He needs help. He just needs a C. Can you please help.

Ms. K said I should quote 4000 quid and see what happens.

Nah. What if he says yes?

So you see, Mr. Koo, what a good friend I am to you. At least I was willing to give you a quote (*wink).

*

Thank you, my friend, for deliberately coming over for our last chat on campus :)

年輕的臂章 默默除下了...

半夜三點

這幾天，走路的步伐放得很慢。離開sports centre回家，慢慢的蕩來蕩去，random walk。彷彿走慢一點，就能吸收多一點這裡的空氣。

離開的日子越近，就越不捨得睡。彷彿少睡一點，就能記住這裡多一點。

原來，我真係會吾捨得。

後天，又開始一段新的路。緩慢地隨遇地前衛地行過去。

＊

好友古先生明天一早就走。臨別，握手，大家都叮囑他快點努力找個女朋友。

共勉之。

夢遠了，我都還記得

It's kind of interesting how MBA programs usually sell themselves for transforming people. That's what they always tell you at the start of the course. Get out of your comfort zone. Be more adventurous and ENTREPRENEURIAL. I did dream of how marvellously I would be changed. I'd become a confident person, loads of MBA bullshit, awesome job prospects...

It now seems that MBA was actually a journey to find out how perversely stubborn a person I am. I always used to think I'm not that much of a Virgo but now I know better.

In the past month I had actually been doing a lot of proofreading work for some non-native English speakers on their dissertations. Dissertations would usually discuss whether a qualitative or a quantitative approach is more suitable for the research topic blah blah. One thing I noticed is that

I BELIEVE IN NONE OF THE QUALITATIVE RESEARCH. Yes. Most people use a qualitative approach because of time constraints, because there are not enough samples...and so, I believe in none of them. None at all. OK, yes, you wrote in the case study that you interviewed a guy who said A. But he could be bluffing. Yes, B said the same thing but then I'd start thinking, they won't let you know the whole story anyway so of course they'd say something that's consistent with the rumours in the industry. And there would usually be no case C because of the time constraints.

And so I do a quantitative research. That's not too much better, actually. By working on my dissertation I found how easy it is to muck up the numbers. So you've already done the whole analysis and you find you messed up something in the middle, though it's not obvious and it MIGHT not affect the results. Do you start over? I started over twice but when I messed something up the third time, I just couldn't force myself to do it again. Nobody would check anyway. And due to time constraints my sample was only from the S&P500. And to cover my ass I say the limitation is that S&P500 might not be able to represent the entire market. And end up concluding NOTHING, which I am actually quite comfortable with.

What is the point of doing a dissertation, then?

What's even more scary is that I now know I am a non-believer in basically EVERYTHING. I got goosebumps the moment I write this.

Alright James, I wrote this in English just for you.

無論世界怎變

每天每天　站在忙亂又無聊的路旁
等你向我走來
每天每天　一直看見到你和你說話
才算有個開始

每天每天　我都沒感覺我們有什麼改變
我一直以為　這是永遠
而我無法想像你會離開

我已習慣　你走在我的右手邊
一起看無聊搞笑片
約好去看地中海的藍

我已習慣　我們在一起像Old friend
分享生活裡的一切　我知道你每個笑
有不同的意義存在

明白讓你走會後悔(不願意你離開)
這樣的感情太可貴(我現在已瞭解)
我要的幸福
每一天　每一天　慢慢發現
And I love you baby　不會再後退
也不能只是你的　朋友

我已習慣　你走在我的右手邊
一起看無聊搞笑片
約好去看地中海的藍

我已習慣　我們在一起像Old friend
分享生活裡的一切　我只要你在身邊
讓你明白我的愛

太聰明

Facebook 新功能（其實應該已經不新了），你去年今天在Facebook status 說過甚麼，他今天提醒你一次。如果你去年今天沒有update，最頂癮是，他會提醒你你前年說過甚麼。實在有點多餘，頂你吾順。

2009年9月1日，你的新開始。

我知道我不應該再為自己的失敗而介懷。只是每次回望，總是心有餘愧。

人不應讓過去拖著後腿。如果我要回顧過去我自己會去看，用不著你pop up來提醒。Facebook，鏟走這功能吧。

職業病

原本就打算甚麼都不管的

豈料發現了其中一個位明明應該寫PB卻寫錯了MV

Bulk print 模式一旦啓動就無法收手

現在整份dissertation都劃花了。

我頂。

Brightened up

把無關痛癢的碎碎念統統刪掉

這天，感覺良好 :)

一個人的週末

前天應該是在英國第四次寫信去要求refund了，一口氣就寫了兩封，一封給LiverpoolFC，另一封給London Midlands Train。同日，又收到Megabus的refund。

英國的service，很善於道歉，只是不善改進。鏟人是有回報的，但你要給她時間，還要你慢慢教他們如何找回你的booking record。

加上我多次在pub裡的奇遇，我想，我的命格可能真的跟英國有點相沖。

是時候要離開了吧？

＊

今天有翻看以前的blog entry。我記得，大概4個月前我回了香港。上機前，卻莫名奇妙的感到害怕。很很很害怕。

所以那兩個禮拜，我自己都覺得自己怪怪地。而我卻一直解釋不了。

早幾天跟朋友仔說了幾句，才終於明白自己害怕甚麼。

＊

我很老土。我可以變，但不喜歡變。而近兩三年，卻發現身邊的人和事變得很快。快得我也有點甩beat了。
也許是我慢了。也許是你快了。總之，就是甩beat了。

前天才剛看到廣告，英國現在才開始討論要興建高鐵。住在這個所有事都慢10拍的國度快要一年了，我還有整整4個月，

我其實有點怕自己回不去。

＊

很多人都會以為我做所有事都很有效率，輕鬆淡定。我其實sae guae到你不信，只不過我會下很多功夫去隱藏，我會做好多事去打底。我其實一點都不聰明，但每做一件事，我背後用了多少時間，我不會告訴你，我只會告訴你，我很快的完成，是為了要去旅行。

還有人以為我的花名叫“譚嘉強”是因為我“強”，這是流的。
而實際上，我不知道有多少人知道其實我可以有多脆弱。

因為這些，是我在對話中無法說出口的。這就是我的性格缺憾。你，知道嘛？

＊

你，只在難過的時候才想起我。

請原諒我長長的發up風，因為我平時乞食的對象全都去旅行了，我的餃子＋半條麵包被偷走，現在卻天黑兼下雨不能去Tesco，而我已經連續兩天都吃了Tesco那份量嚴重不夠的叮叮pasta，肚子還餓著呢。我好難過啊，但跟你說這個會不會太扯了？...

今天是正能量

無關痛癢的事不去想，不想不想，就不煩了.

有得揀，算吾算老闆？

因為之前的工作，因為現在的外快freelance，也可能因為將來會做回老本行，我應該大半輩子都花在防止一些老鼠屎搞衰一鍋粥的工作上。建設甚少，倒是能騙一點飯吃。

當你做這工作卻沒有錢作為回報，面對這樣的處境，選擇有3：

1 叫老鼠不要拉屎
2 繼續執屎
3 忘記那些屎，整鍋粥吃掉就算

由於1是不可能的，2是煩人的，趁還能選擇，我選擇3。

Perverse behaviour by a non-shopaholic

一直都不是購物狂，不喜歡window shopping，也沒有不買不舒服的問題，只有買錯東西不舒服的問題。

由於近來手頭比較緊，去德國旅行時都盡量節衣縮食，包括想盡辦法不買票搭巴士地鐵，包括食包當飯，包括住朋友屋企免得住酒店等等...

我在Dresden的Baroque Quarters逛了一圈，裡面都是gallery跟designer boutique，價錢當然亦不菲。

我在一家麵包店買了一個價值0.15歐的豬仔包打算當晚餐。

下一分鐘我進了一家店，卻買了一條價值99歐的牛仔褲，一舉打破了我畢生最貴牛仔褲的紀錄。

離開這店以後，我覺得這區很危險，所以寧願立刻回去Hauptbahnhof 等車等半小時。但，我完全沒有辦法解釋自己的behaviour。

有關星期六的記憶

今天老遠去倫敦看Chicago，看完就立刻回來。Musical本身幾entertaining，但感覺好累，也沒有心情逛倫敦。
回家路上突然想起，我的星期六都怎麼過的？

一年前 一定會記得星期一至五 ＝ 返工
幾個月前 一定會記得星期一至五 ＝ 返學

一年前 一定會記得星期六 ＝ hockey
幾個月前 一定會記得星期日 ＝ 踢波

翻查手機上的schedule，有關過去九個月的星期六，卻竟然沒有多少線索。

星期六，你去了哪裡？

有關酒

從來都覺得，逼人喝酒是世界上最無聊的事。

食物不吃完會浪費，酒喝不完卻不會。想喝就喝不想喝就不喝，如果喝的人根本就不喜歡酒，喝了才算浪費。

就怪自己受不了群眾壓力又喝多了，頭痛了一整個晚上，想吐了兩次都忍住了。這是酒量好的人永遠都不會明白的，所以他們都會繼續不斷的叫人喝酒。有人說，酒量可以練回來。但是我根本不享受，傷胃又傷肝，我為甚麼要練？

酒量差就是我遺傳的體質，明知只有辛苦，沒有享受，就不應該喝。

頭好痛。唉。

有關激進

連日都有看有關七一遊行及其後示威者阻街的相關報導。例行公事，搞手一定報大數，政府一定報細數，然後一定會有人說數目多少不緊要，你們二十萬人能代表全港嗎，即使只有五萬人我們的聲音就不重要嗎之類之類。這些都是預料之內。

始料不及的是大家對於示威者“激進”的評論。人在海外，消息最方便就是看yahoo，看的都是yahoo上的人發表評論。90％的人都不斷譴責示威者是暴民，正癲狗，被政客利用，阻住大家番屋企好自私，繼而支持快點通過遞補機制，好讓那些癲狗永遠不得回去議會。

雖然我知道他們不能代表overall population，但也很overwhelming。

你覺得有些政客搞屎棍，這很subjective，我也不知道那些政客的最終目的是不是真的為香港好，我沒有辦法說你錯。
你覺得他們暴民與否，也很subjective，我也沒有辦法說你錯。
你覺得他們阻街，是犯法，暴力是不對的，我也沒有辦法說你錯。
你覺得，準時回家不被阻礙，是你的權利，我當然也沒有辦法說你錯。

但我沒有想過，你在一個假日準時番屋企的權利會這麼重要，比一些所謂"PK"爭取保留選舉的權利更重要，比爭取政府不要粗暴立法更重要。

被政客利用，會造就他們每個月多了十萬議員薪金，這樣實在不好。所以寧願被政府利用，繼而造就中共政權繼續慢慢拿走你僅有的權利，千秋萬代永垂不朽萬歲萬歲萬萬歲。

會上yahoo留言的，我斷估是年輕人。一向以為以上觀點都屬於上一輩人的，呢次我真係估你吾到。香港人，幾時變成o甘架？

心都痛埋。

Farewell

有時會唸，我自問都係一個幾有自信既人，未驚過揾吾到工，未驚過揾吾到錢，未驚過project會搞吾掂，未驚過同陌生人social...
但有驚過自己一世都揾吾到下一個女朋友。

老實講，無拍拖已經年幾兩年，你而家問我點拍拖，甚至點樣開始一段關係，我都已經吾記得。久而久之，變成一個絕緣體。

好耐無人同我講過覺得我係一個荀盤，真係多謝晒。

When jokes are not jokes they are really funny

It's pretty much the first time I talk to MBA students from somewhere other than Warwick. Turns out different schools really breed different people.

So me and Ms. Ayse were having lunch with an American guy exchanging from Thunderbird. He said he has a job interview in Hamburg in the next few days, and it will be conducted in German.

Ms. Ayse said, "Ah. So you will be telling them what are your weaknesses in German!" and we chuckled. Well in case you don't know why we chuckled, it's because Warwick students have the common perception that "What are your weaknesses?" is about the daftEST question on earth for any interviewer to ask.

Then this guy said, "Yea. Ich bien ein perfectionist." I didn't know a word of German so for my benefit he translated it. "I am a PERFECTIONIST." he said.

And he went on. "I could never let go of something until it's perfect. I really can't do it. And there's another thing. I can't lie. If I lied it'd be all over my face. I can't even play poker. And I can't bribe. There are many things I can do, but you can't tell me to do anything unethical."

Just in case, I took a look and made sure he's not serious.

Oh no. He IS serious about the question. So both me and Ms. Ayse went dead silent. Thank god it's time for class to resume.

Alumni networks

Met some girls from my own sec school in London.

Just because they happen to be in London. Frankly, if we were all in Hong Kong, I'd never even THINK about meeting them for lunch just to chitchat. Funny thing about being in a foreign place, we all suddenly become friends.

And oh how we've grown. We talk about our jobs, we talk about business, we talk about people getting married. The "she" now isn't the "she" we knew back then. The "me" now, I know, is certainly not the "me" we knew back then neither.

*

Came across another inspiring blogpost from my favourite blogger: 人在中環: 有火的日子

There is always a positive way to view things.

As my undergrad buddy said today, the very fact of being a student revitalises anyone. And regaining youth at heart is worth it all. Never mind the money.

Looking back, if it wasn't for that incident, I think I'd never be triggered to apply for an MBA program. I'd never be able to get in touch with a whole new world. I'd never be able to know how lucky I was to own whatever I already had owned.

However painful, it turned out to be something good.

Stamina

Sometimes I wish I didn't have that stamina.
Was it a waste of time and effort? Yes, absolutely.
Was it self-destructive? Yes, dangerously too!
But why are you still doing it? Well...
I enjoyed the game.
Though I always lose. And I know I never will win.
Some day, I know, I'll get tired and I'll quit.
Somehow =)

First impression and changes

Came across the msn history of one of my conversations with a friend, on the first day of my course.

"So! How's your course? Any HKers?"
"Yea, 4 including me"
"How were they?"
"Quite nice. Two of them are like, 4 to 5 years older than me, and there's another younger one, I guess she's about the same age. But she's very quiet. Like sheep"
"Sheep!"
"Yea. I am afraid of sheep. They are very boring."
"That's a funny way to put it."
"You know sheep, they don't even realize you are laughing at them when you do so. That's not fun"

A few months passed. The sheep turned out not what she seemed to be on our first day of school. And I told the sheep about that conversation, just for a laugh.

Sheep: 你立心不良！
K: 不過我第一日識你都覺得你好靜，好綿羊！好似需要人保護o個種！同埋你應該學到8級琴！
Me: 如果o吾係8級琴就應該係彈古箏啦！
Sheep: ...我兩樣都o吾識...
Me: o甘...你地又會o吾會覺得我學琴學到演奏級呢...
K: Um...你比我第一印象同而家差o吾多，都係好sporty好鐘意打波o甘...
Sheep: Yee 佢好似逃避緊你個問題...
Me: 撞鬼...究竟點解我呀媽要比o甘多錢我學琴呢...
Sheep: 係呢，點解你會學琴o架？你真係o吾似wor
Me: 聽聞係因為佢地買左個琴，但家姐放棄左，所以逼我學
Sheep: o甘點解逼你學而o吾逼你家姐繼續呢？
Me: 因為我細個好乖。
K + Sheep: ......
Me: 其實我細個時候好文靜o架。
K + Sheep: ......

How easy it is to lose money in Cov

We just had one day to spend in Coventry, I decided to take my sis to Leamington.

Was a Sunday. Arrived at Rootes bus station at 15:15. Looked at timetable and found that we missed the 15:12 bus. Next bus will arrive at 16:12.

Sister wanted to go to Tesco to see if there is anything British she could buy as a souvenir. To Tesco we went. Then we caught the 16:07 bus from Tesco to Leamington via Warwick Uni.

Outside Rootes, the bus broke down. In other words, we successfully travelled from Tesco to Warwick Uni for 1.6 pounds EACH. As I got off the bus, Mr. Adeel and Mr. Haroon at the station asked me, what on earth did you do to our bus? We can't go out now!

As the next bus will arrive at 17:12, we decided to take a taxi to Leamington. The taxi took off. I noticed that the meter wasn't on. I asked the driver, "Hello? Your meter isn't on?"

Driver said, "What? We agreed on 20 pounds!"

1. He never mentioned 20 pounds.
2. We never said any word apart from "Leamington" and "Parade" to this taxi driver.
3. As far as experience tells me, going to Leam ISN'T 20 pounds.

I said, no I can't do 20 pounds. At most 15.

Driver showed us a list saying "Coventry Taxi Driver Association". "According to this list I should have charged 28 pounds to Leamington. I'm just charging you 20 and you agreed. All the drivers at the station heard you."

1. If the right price is 28 why are you charging me 20?
2. Again, I never agreed to 20.
3. Even if the true price on the meter turns out to be 28, for the sake of not wanting this dodgy guy earn my money, I said,

"Let us out. I'm not going now."

"Fine, but the minimum charge is 2.8 pounds. Pay me 2.8 pounds and I can let you off here."

I prolly should have called the police but I wonder if any police will deal with this on a Sunday afternoon. So we paid 2.8 pounds and went back to the taxi stand to take another taxi.

Total money spent: 3.2 pounds for the bus and 2.8 pounds for the dodgy taxi = 6 pounds
Total achieved: getting horridly pissed off

P.S. Taxi from Rootes to Leam finally took me another 16 pounds.

Fucking Hot Tube!

The London Tube is really fucking hot. There’s almost no ventilation inside the train. I felt like stuck in an oven.

There was a guy sitting opposite us and his girlfriend was leaning on his shoulder. Hm. The girl looked quite nice. But since the carriage was so hot and stuffy I felt a bit dizzy and started to dose off.

When the train reached Paddington, I woke up because it’s almost my time to get off. In just a short glimpse I noticed that the guy opposite me was wearing a pair of jeans that was VERY TIGHT. EXCEPTIONALLY TIGHT. Hm…the jeans didn’t seem so tight a few stations earlier, if it was SO TIGHT I thought I’d notice that? Hm…and the guy’s face was VERY RED. Hm…

Well I shouldn’t be surprised. The Tube was so hot probably any guy would wanna take off all his clothes then and there.

Royal Wedding

很難忘剛回到英國的那一刻，心情是很沈重的。

我感受不到活力。感受不到進步。感受不到意氣風發。

千古不變的皇室與傳統，就是人民的心靈慰籍。

今天，可能是這國家30年來最團結的一天。經濟政治都太沈重，她需要沖喜一下。

Guilt

看見汗流浹背的西裝友，想起一年前的自己。

穿著casual wear與西裝友爭位吃飯，感覺格格不入。然後覺得，其實我有點掛念中環的生活啊。

我喜歡工作。感覺踏實。

尤其是每次看過自己戶口balance 以後。

*

去年今天，是駱駝上最後一根草。從此以後，沒有人能逼我做任何我不想做的事情 =)

走鋼索的人

愛。回家。
表面很興奮，但其實我有點怕。

＊

走在半空中 要人命的風 就快要把我吹落
妳在那一頭 說妳不愛我 我掛在風裡顫抖

走鋼索的人 不害怕犧牲 只求妳一句 愛我
往前是解脫 後退是自由 我應不應該回頭

風吹痛我雙眼 我看不清楚
我平衡不了 躲在我心裡的苦

我要給妳幸福 妳蠻不在乎
妳愛不愛我 會決定我 下一步

往前是冷漠 後退是寂寞 乾脆我墜落
回憶在左手 未來在右手 誰又會同情我

Please be careful of your belongings

Two news, one good one bad. Bad is, I lost some pounds (as in money, not weight, sadly). Good is, I have a good story to tell.

Below I will present the facts, and the facts only:

Date: 6th April, 2011
Venue: WBS A2.06
Time: around 8pm

1. 7 people in the group.

2. My textbook was originally placed on top of my own laptop.

3. After discussion ended, 4 people left the room, remaining people included Lady, Me and Guy, who chatted about careers stuff.

4. When I was about to leave, I no longer see a textbook on my laptop. One textbook is placed on the table.

5. Examining the textbook, with many corners folded and very worn out, I declared, "This is not mine."

6. Guy said, "Oh. How do you know?" I said, "It's so worn out! Impossible!"

7. Thinking maybe someone dropped my book on the floor (thus making its corners folded) I went home. Briefly flipped through the book. Found underlines and markings. Therefore it is definitely not mine.

8. Next day I went around asking whether my groupmates took my book by mistake. Everybody showed me either their names on their book or highlighter marks on their book. Except one Guy. He said, "Oh, my book is in my car. But I didn't make any markings on my book. I'm sure this is not mine."

9. I reported this finding to Uncle R. Uncle R reported that this morning when there were only 3 people in the lecture room, this Guy was flipping through the textbook.

*

So guys, keep a close eye on your belongings, including any textbooks that you're planning to sell out on Amazon. My textbook has now depreciated to scrap value overnight. I don't intend to confront that guy, so treat it as a non-recurring write off. But it's not about the money. My point is:

How could something so "high school" happen in an MBA course for god's sake?!

Get a gun!

People who don't know me well would have thought I have a quick temper simply telling from my grumpy looks, but those who know me quite well would know that I actually am quite patient with people (part of the reason is I am actually a little bit slow in response).

So I thought I was being quite childish when I kept saying that I hate a certain guy (like last week) and I thought I was being quite childish for hating a certain guy (a different guy) this week as well. Until somebody sitting besides me whispered, "Is it just me? I find that guy in the front EXTREMELY ANNOYING!"

Mr. Serious sitting beside me has been a quiet lad through two terms, and was so serious that I seldom talked to him. But now Mr. Serious was suggesting me to get a gun and shoot that guy at the front.

It really amazes me how somebody could annoy anybody so much without even having talked to neither of us. He feels really good about himself. He speaks with authority. He sounds sarcastic and tries to be funny in a sarcastic way and is really cocky. He keeps saying "yep, yep, yep" very loudly while the lecturer is speaking, as if the lecturer needs his endorsement of what is to be said. And this afternoon, whenever he shows his cockiness again, Mr. Serious would say under his breath, "Shoot him down, man!"

Well Mr. Cocky, congratulations, you've tested the bottomline :)

*

By the way, I really liked the valuation model that I was taught today. Fresh stuff that never appeared in the CFA syllabus!

一杯奶茶

晚上十點半，我想喝一杯奶茶。然後心想，um，反正快要睡了，就不要喝好了。

然後搞搞Corporate Governance essay，send個email，同朋友仔chat了一會，十一點半了，我又想起了奶茶。然後心想，我真的快要睡了，不要喝了。

然後又跟朋友仔聊起來。然後覺得，好像好久沒有玩過sudoku了，就玩一會吧。

十二點十五分。我還念念不忘一杯奶茶。

妖。飲啦。

Governance emergencies! (2)

OK. Presentation day. Our group was last to go so we're probably expected with the best, but obviously now I think we should come last. No joking, the lecturer was damn right we all worked on our own slides without any co-operation or co-ordination or interlinkage. Because co-operation wasn't possible.

This guy who started off by introducing the company (which, really, wasn't necessary: who doesn't know what is Disney anyway?) started playing a video to "wake the people up" without me even knowing that he was gonna do it. And what was that video? A Mickey Mouse cartoon. That's it. And how much is that related to our presentation? Well, not much to be honest, except that both are associated with Disney.

Then the guy used TEN minutes to introduce the company and the timeline of events (mind you, all 5 of us had 30 minutes in total), which, again, is not much related to the questions that we were prompted to answer. And with odd captions that were meant to "make the presentation more interesting" as well, "Waking of the Sleeping Beauty"? "Ruling with an iron fist"? "The roaring mouse"? What was all that about?! If you could make the whole thing funny, fine; but if you can't, you're just downright odd. No kidding.

Second guy, again, used TEN minutes in answering question 1. To be honest, he did do a good job of making things very clear, but then the remaining TEN minutes had to be split between THREE people. And, I was the ending speaker. Again.

No kidding, I did lots of research for the presentation, but none of them bothered to understand them nor use them properly. And since they didn't do a good job of explaining anyway, I mentioned those at the conclusion section. Ending comment by lecturer, "I think there was some important stuff that should be put in the context, not at the conclusion. I feel your presentation is very loosely structured."

Well, he was right. I didn't even ask for the final mark for our presentation. I'm not even interested. I'm not happy, really; I hate delivering shitty work KNOWING that it's going to be shitty. I just didn't bother trying to convince those uncles with a terribly big ego. My bad.

One funny thing happened AFTER the presentation though. There was a lady doing distance MBA who came along and said, "Well done! I didn't know you were going to speak in the presentation! You were so quiet in the class, I thought you were very shy! You did a good job!"

So I was like, "Shy? Huh? Well...you can ask these guys." and I pointed to my full time colleagues.

And my good old colleague said, "She's not shy. She's not THERE!"

Which is true because, as a protest against the crappy course and the lecturer who constantly feels too good about himself, I skipped the entire Thursday's lectures.

Governance emergencies!

There are some people that you know, at the first moment you hear them speak, you can't click with them.

*

So this guy would tell you to run through the powerpoint from start to finish, but as soon as the 2nd slide comes on he starts commenting. So we'd pause to make changes and discuss what changes to make. Then as you are working, this same guy will say, "Look guys, why don't we run through the whole thing from start to finish."

Then you'd run from the start again. This time when the 3rd slide comes on he starts commenting again. So naturally, we paused again (because what needs to be done needs to get done, ain't that right?) But as soon as you're halfway done, he'd say again "Look guys, why don't we run through the whole thing from start to finish."

And the loop went on once more before I said, "Please write that down and keep it to yourself until we finish?"

*

Our case was about the compensation package of the CEO of Walt Disney Co. The case asked us whether we thought his package was reasonable or not, but enclosing a resignation letter from another director which expressed that the CEO didn't deserve his pay. BUT does that really mean it's not reasonable?

Took those guys some time to finally digest the fact that no, the CEO wasn't overpaid, because more than 80% of his salary came from a bonus which was tied systematically to net profit plus a chunk of stock options while his basic salary was pathetic. Looking at the numbers I crunched the guys were actually hiding their heads in their hands. What's so wrong about saying his pay was reasonable? That's something I don't get.

But what really upset me was, I tried to briefly explain to them his salary structure, which of course, included some numbers. This guy (same guy) just said, "OK, let's not dive into the numbers." WHAT?! If I hadn't been crunching all this stuff you guys would still be stupidly thinking that YES EISNER WAS DEFINITELY OVERPAID. WHY? BECAUSE STANLEY GOLD WHO RESIGNED SAID SO. And then feel good about yourself. Let's not dive into the numbers? Hold on, you're actually saying "Let's not look at the facts"!

Similarly, in the first meeting this guy (same guy) undertook the task of compiling a graph showing the revenue, net profit and share price of Disney during Eisner's regime. Second meeting, no information from him. Decision was: "Let's not put that in the slides, I don't think we should dive into the numbers anyway."

*

Don't dive into the numbers, but yes dive into the sea of 2x2 tables and frameworks. Some guy (same guy) said that those who already did their presentation seemed to just summarize what's in the case studies. That's not adding value and we should avoid it. And, doing it all by himself, he decided to summarize what's in the lecture notes instead. OK, according to him THAT'S adding value, flooding the slides with whatever framework he could find in the lecture notes no matter they're relevant or not. Don't waste our efforts scraping them away man! I don't even want to look at our slides anymore.

*

Then there was the issue of whether all of us should speak or should it be just 2 or 3. We have in total 30 minutes and 5 sections, so I thought all 5 should speak. But no, he said, it disrupts the continuity. Better have just 3. Do you want to present? I'm happy to present.

Wait. 3 people for 30 minutes? That's 10 for each and possibly 15 for some. No I don't think anyone wants to listen to one single bloke talking nonstop for 15 whole minutes. Now THAT'S disruptive.

Ugh. I'm getting a bit personal now.

Is it a guy thing or is it just me?

It's a friendly game. It's at noon in the scorching sun. It's just a 4-on-4 game. It's a mini pitch. There's nothing official whatsoever.

Why would you lecture your own cohort for slacking off in a silly football game?
Why would you tease someone, nonstop, that he has two left legs because his shots are far away from being on target?
Why would you moan about injury every time you missed a goal when you had a golden chance?
Why would you even say "I want us to win" when nobody is even keeping track of the score?

Is it the guys' obsessions about victory that I just don't have?

Frankly, though, I think you should be more mature.

I hate strategy

I repeat, I hate strategy.

Well looking at the paper from 2010, I just don't see how I would benefit by being able to recite the definition of "competitive advantage" and "core competence".

OK. Give me a business. Then I'm supposed to tell you, A is a competitive advantage. B is just a core competence, not a competitive advantage. C are the resources of the company, but it is not the core competence. D is an intangible resource. E is a tangible resource.

OK then. SO WHAT? Does that change anything?

*

And there was this slide that really made me burst:

Title: Levels of uncertainty (Source: Courtney, Kirkland and Viguerie (1997) Harvard Business Review)

- Clear enough future
-- single view

- Alternative futures
-- limited set of possible future outcomes one of which will occur

- Range of futures
-- range of possible outcomes

- True ambiguity
-- not even a range of possible future outcomes

OK, you've exhausted all possibilities. How does that help?

*

Jesus Christ. I prefer serendipity.

多得考試

上一輪考試讓我迷上RubberBand，今個學期嘗試聽聽Mister，畢竟個個都話正。

聽左幾首...hm...

不可以說不好聽，但係...點講呢...

好cliche wor。

RubberBand的core competency是，聽完有開心左，平靜左的感覺。

或，某一種感動。

＊

《夏令時間》

微風吹起剎那　長灘記載仲夏
擠於那帳幕下　營火邊講笑嗎
迷戀那位　在盼對話 是絢爛暑假

黃昏依稀剎那　籃框記掛盛夏
曾呼喊勝利吧　給汗水擦亮年華
誰有來打氣　名字漸忘記 夏天出走遠飛

如今這跳錶　自動停頓了
無稽的笑話　嫌棄在那朝
落泊的房間　睡醒每朝
洗過臉跟倒影說　什麼才重要

航空的信封　漸漸溶爛了
同班的照片　搬遷中給錯丟
密閉高樓中　棲身冷氣風裡
倦了　這身軀 很想再回到初夏的夜裡

揮霍得最多的歡笑聲
是那股不怕乾涸的初生氣盛
時光飄遠　忘了即興
結集舊時場景　安慰澀倦眼睛
在追憶之中不要太易醒

年輕的臂章　默默除下了
藏珍的唱片　誰刮掉報銷
在滿街人堆　未懂對焦
空氣有把聲音說　人經已大了

這秒鐘　沒夏蟲在叫
才知這輩子　青春一早退燒
悶透的時鐘　摧毀每寸依據
若世界太趕 只想再回到初夏的夜裡

很想再回到初夏的夜裡

*

散發正能量的藝術最了不起。

無題

難道還要抱緊 這些過去 不可再進亦不退

18/3 下午

我躲在房間在浪費陽光

一支煙的時間

奇奇怪怪。

我竟然發夢自己在抽煙，仲要不只一支，是煙駁煙那種。

*

今天比賽大家都很頹，我因為做assignment做到頹，隊友們因為昨天party得太開心所以頹。比賽前就大伙兒在討論 who slept with who and who wanna shag who, 旁邊只剩下兩三個老鬼（包括我）得淡笑。

Well, the ultimate goal of life is probably to get laid, right?

*

有點累。

今天他們說...

麻甩佬T說，這幾個禮拜我有點不同。平時我好像都很開心的，這幾個禮拜好像很depressed。

師奶仔G說，她也同意我不同了，還有不知道為甚麼今個學期我好像對學業比較認真了，上課竟然有帶reading，有時還有帶筆。

不知道兩者可有關連？

＊

Depressed是真的，而且肯定不是因為生理週期的關係。是一種無力感。

我可以用廣東話／普通話在lecture room裡面對著朋友們發很大很大的爛渣，但都揮不去一種無力感。魚糧繼續做，底繼續包，感覺，就好像當年做隊長。天分不夠頂硬上，落得烏雲蓋頂。

唯一的分別是，無論我有多proactive，我都不是隊長，對他們來說（尤其讀得這course的，ego都不細），我只是一個花o靚。

＊

不過，這畢竟只是很校園的烏雲。跟職場上的相比，這實在不算甚麼，可以一笑置之。

＊

突然很回味剛過去星期日的那場比賽。

史無前例犯了3次規，差點吃黃牌。但賽後隊長跟我說，覺得我踢得很好，連移動城堡都被我嚇退了。有點感動。

他40幾歲人來跟我們這班花o靚踢波，我哪有藉口不跑多兩步？

天分不夠，就用韌力補救。

衰捻善

諸事不順。

真係吾應該放過佢地。

唉。

If you hate people pretending to be humble, high five!

Quite some time ago there was this colleague of mine whom I talked about taking an MBA. I was saying to do it in UK would cost me nearly all the money I had, but if I really can't afford it myself my parents can give me some support. This guy says, wow, you're pretty rich huh. And I say, yea, "dou OK ga".

The answer took the guy by surprise for a second, but then he said, I LIKE YOUR ANSWER!

*

I forgot what we were talking about but some guy from my group asked me, you got a pretty high GMAT score, right? And I say, yea, was pretty high.

And the guy who asked the question said, I LIKE YOUR ANSWER!

*

Why do they like my answer? Well it's obviously because people don't usually JUST SAY "I am good."

They'll say, "Nah, I sucked at it." Then wait for other people to ask, "Then what did you get?" "710." "Oh my god and you say you sucked at it? I can't believe it!" "Well yea...I scored 800 in all my GMAT practice tests so I was really disappointed with my results, yea, you know, well, um..."

They'll say, "No I'm not rich! Stop saying that!" Then wait for other people to ask, "Then where do you live?" "Chelsea." "Oh my god and you say you're not rich? I can't believe it!" "Well uh...it just costed me around a million or two, yea, you know, well, um..."

You just HATE these kinda people don't you!

*

So next time anyone asks me why I succeeded in something, I will say to him/her, because I am good.

And that's at least part of the truth, isn't it? (wink)

The business cycle

Today, I learnt about the business cycle that is very inspiring:

Cash --> Raw materials --> Work-In-Progress --> Finished goods --> Debtors --> Cash

"Do you want cash? Well not really. Because they aren't really generating revenue for you and too much of it lowers your ROI. So you buy raw materials with your cash. Do you want raw materials? Well not really. Because they are expensive to keep. So you turn them into WIP. Do you want WIP? Well not really. Because they are worth nothing until they're finished. So you turn them into finished goods. Do you want finished goods? Well not really. Because you want to sell them! So you sell them and you get debtors. Do you want debtors? Well not really. Because you want them to pay you. So they pay you, and you get cash. Do you want cash? Well not really! That's the business cycle for a finance director isn't it!"

Well I don't understand much of British humour but I understand his. David Murphy is the guy!

Young peeps!!! (2)

Not sure if it applies to every culture, but I normally regard 3 years difference as "one generation gap", i.e. if somebody is 3 years older than me I'd say we have a generation gap and if somebody is 6 years older than me I'd say we have TWO generation gaps. Well not that the number is important but it just explains how different people's mindsets are.

So I was back from Tesco with SiMui and on the way some friend of SiMui, who is an undergrad, came along and said hi. During the conversation we learnt that she just had a presentation in class. Well that is nothing special until you realize what she wore. Black tights with, on top, a skirt barely covering her entire hips. Wow, some presentation!

So SiMui is 2 years younger than me and I guess that's the maximum gap I could tolerate. The undergrad who is again 2 years younger than SiMui is, therefore, beyond capacity. To make it simple, they are simply 不知所謂！

So, folks older than me, if you find my behaviour utterly unacceptable, please let me know. Because...I'm still a young peep! =]

Sigh...young peeps!

So this morning I agreed to do a psychology experiment for a project of one my my undergrad football teammates. She told me to "meet her at the Library" (didn't say where) at 1:30pm and for her convenience, I gave her my phone number through facebook inbox.

So I was there at the Library entrance at 1:30pm sharp. Nobody there. I went down the stairs to see if she's outside the cafe. Nobody there. I tried to look for internet access to check my facebook and see if I had remembered the time wrong. Nope, nothing wrong. It was eventually 1:50pm and since she never gave me her number I gave her a message telling her to call me.

After wandering around for some more on campus (WLAN was lost) and I got no phone call I decided I'm not going to waste anymore of my time and go home. And the moment I went back to my own room, the message I got in my facebook inbox was "Oh I am at the Floor 2 sofas", sent to me at 1:55pm.

Well, young peeps, it's your project, not mine. If you don't give a damn, don't try to waste anybody's time. I told her I had gone home. And from her reply "I tried to reply as quickly as possible. But that's ok.", I know she still doesn't have a clue what has gone wrong.

And now, the war forecast

Well I know this is all old knowledge, but the picture of this still gives me the creeps. These fucking bastards in the Pentagon look at a computer software and say, "Look, just 6000 casualties, that's not much, let's go to war!"

And the Dupuy Institute says it is a non-profit organization. Man, non-profit organizations are supposed to be doing good for society, no? Or should I say, that's nice of you to be charging only $93,000 for the software so that even poor countries could afford to decide whether to go to war?

And why on earth would anybody think an MBA student is able to comment on a WAR FORECAST MODEL just based on a news article talking about it?

Whoa, the human sustainability!

Impressive figures:

Pepsico UK manufactures 10 million packets of crisps each day. HOW IMPRESSIVE IS THAT?!
Pepsico UK puts 100% of its budget for carbonated soft drinks in zero calorie drinks. HOW IMPRESSIVE IS THAT?!

Well...I don't know, really. What Mr. Georgy kindly wiki-ed immediately was that the population of United Kingdom is 60 million, meaning that probably one-sixth of the population is consuming a packet of crisps PER DAY?!

'Tis barking mad.

*

Funny how I did actually dream of Paris a few weeks before the news I got yesterday.

I loved that dream.

Because you were there :)

Tidying up

小師妹說：你間房亂到連條屍都擺o吾落

由於小弟不見了散紙包兼o吾想 touchwood 死o左o係房都訓得o吾舒服，決定執房，至少令部份桌面可以見光。

執notes執notes執notes，原來全部都一眼都無看過。

o甘多年，原來一D都無進步過。

生活，又可o吾可以執番正小小？

恭喜恭喜

好似大家都好旺wor...

大佬們過D靈氣比我好嘛...