Ant back in Office

大會堂演奏廳

2012-02-18T20:58:00.006+08:00

上次adhoc唱K，玩懷舊系列，我們唱《大會堂演奏廳》。MV是LD時代拍的，裡面當然不會有李克勤，而是兩個九吾搭八的男女主角在大會堂前回憶一些事。片段裡，有皇后碼頭。皇后碼頭旁邊，有大會堂。今年大會堂50週年，港台弄了個特備節目細說她的歷史。她是香港第一個演奏廳。她是香港第一個公共圖書館。她是我爸媽註冊結婚的地方。她是legal year 開波的地方。中四那年我進去觀摩師姐們大會堂内玩HKMUN，立志中六也要進去型一鋪，還為中六那年大會堂裝修 HKMUN改地方去了West Island School 而大呼無癮。

有時我都不禁想，是不是真的因為我是港英餘孽？為甚麼看到已經不存在的皇后碼頭我會感觸？為甚麼我會覺得大會堂這麼型？為甚麼看足球會義無反顧的追捧英格蘭，為她的不爭氣而痛心（而且好像沒有為中國足球隊的不爭氣痛心）？為甚麼說起common law，三權分立，我會無比沾沾？為甚麼任何人問我那裡來，我一定答Hong Kong不答China？而且很多香港人跟我一樣？

因為香港最輝煌的日子，就是殖民地時代。

跟她一起時最快樂而跟你一起不快樂的話，有關她的一切，就永遠都最美。身為現任那個，動不動聽見前度的名字就神經緊張指手劃腳威脅斷水斷糧經濟封鎖還怪責你為甚麼會想起前度是不是對我不忠，實屬不智；那個前度，我本來不愛，現在反而愛。你給點自由度，可愛一點，不要強行改變我，不要嘗試陰D陰D“溝淡”我（及我的記憶），我自然就會愛你。就是這麼簡單。

更何況，我跟前人已經一百五十多年，跟你才十五年而已。你不太離譜，誰會想每天對罵？對住你這control freak十五年了，香港都壓根兒沒有人想過獨立，你說我不愛你？

甚麼？你一直當我是兒子？抱歉，一個城市不是靠誰懷胎10個月生出來的，是從沒有到有自己發展出來的。別誤會了。

若你問我為什麼文章會多了

2012-02-16T16:59:00.001+08:00

我的cubicle離廁所比較遠，所以每次去廁所都會經過很多同事的座位，而且都會從後看到他們當時用電腦做什麼，所以亦會看見”萬人收window”的壯觀場面。其實，大家咁高咁大，何須忌諱我看見你上高登?坐我前面條o靚仔就坐老細房外面，日日打機打幾個鐘，打完機就淘寶，咁就真係有前途啦。正如某呀姐經過見到我在Ladbrokes.com 找何俊仁當選特首賠率，也不會說什麼。

大和今日炒了幾十人，而今日我能齋坐逗糧，實屬萬幸。只望auditor快點交貨，等我唔洗齋坐就好。因為，呢D新聞日日聽，你都咪話唔驚。

情人節快樂!

2012-02-14T10:28:00.012+08:00

曾經說過，我有點怕女人的，因為歷史資料顯示，workplace外的女人很邪惡，workplace內的女人無膊頭(當然同時也可以很邪惡)，總體來說，都麻煩。坐小弟後面的那位已是唯一唯二的女同事，樣子卻竟然長得跟舊鋪的女上司一模一樣，簡直是揮不去的夢魘。

如今得嘗所願了。Working team全男班，人人有膊頭，conference call粗口橫飛，工作環境非常輕鬆，但也非常麻甩。只能說，凡事都有代價。今日情人節，中環拿著花的delivery boy一街都係，敝公司卻不負眾望，一片死寂，壯懷激烈，因為這裡沒有收花的人，只有送花的人。幾天前，人事又出現變動，雌性動物買少見少，我卻因此萌生想讀番LLB做番個律師的念頭。畢竟，又怕又愛乃人之常情。

朋友說我癡左線，嫌見女人唔夠多不如擺塊鏡在自己檯頭啦。

...究竟邊個癡線D?

祝大家有個輕鬆愉快的情人節 :)

不聽西歌

2012-02-12T00:38:00.005+08:00

不夠熟識我的朋友可能不會知道，我其實完全不聽英文歌的。雖然浸鹹水浸了年半，還是不聽。做gym 被逼聽除外。

主要原因，是覺得西歌通常都好西。唱來唱去得一兩句，仲要o個一兩句通常都無mud意思，melody仲麻麻地，講詩意更遠遠不及中文歌。身為百份百港燦，要聽，當然聽cantopop！

＊

在會考中文課程還有課文要背的年代，我有想過在幾代以後，學生要背的應該是《燕尾蝶》。去年7月去了德國的Dresden，看見那該死的吊臂在建那條該死的擋住靚景的橋，Dresden因而被UNESCO除牌，我腦内就響著這首歌。

會考沒有了，幾代以後，廣東話說不定也沒有了。以後還有誰會記得這歌詞說甚麼？

＊

一向不特別喜歡容祖兒，覺得她歌有點太cliche。原來我今天第一次現場聽她唱live。那我明白為甚麼她紅了。尤其是Twins出現後，我更加明白。

很好笑的一個位：當Twins已經唱了《明愛暗戀補習社》、《愛情當入樽》、《二人世界盃》及說了一堆廢話後，說，“以下落o里我地會唱兩首歌...” 此時全場起哄，不少人耳語（但大聲地耳語，紅館很嘈嘛），“仲來兩首o甘多？！吾係呀嘛...” 可見雙生兒之地位非凡。他們現在還能上台唱，除了多得伍樂城，肯定也多得Wyman。

＊

西歌的一大堆"Ra ra ooh lala"，邊鬼個吾識填？中文歌的重點是，每首歌都在說故事。中文詞中，又以廣東詞最難填，9個音不能亂來，否則就會釀成謝金燕《嗶嗶嗶》大災難。

黃偉文，雖然其實我不特別喜歡聽你講廢話，但我聽你寫的歌長大。You are great. Thank you.

＊

我知道我有些讀者不是香港人，又剛發現梁靜茹原來都有一首《燕尾蝶》，為免誤會，我說的是這首：

不懂廣東話的你，只要看得懂就OK了 :)

發惡夢

2012-02-11T13:53:00.003+08:00

我殺死了一個人。

他死了，我很難過，彷彿不是我殺死他一樣。

演技太好了，全世界沒有人不相信我。

醒番，驚到標冷汗...

Ant back in office - Week 1

2012-02-09T22:00:00.005+08:00

1. 對天氣仍然極不敏感，落街買飯竟然唔記得著大褸。好彩只係去大家樂。

2. 為仆街客放了老友飛機，一萬個對唔住，下次請食飯。仍在研究是否可以問客claim番錢。

3. 另，希望薛凱琪不是今晚嘉賓。

4. 沒有authority寸9人極為痛苦。

5. 7，7，6，9，8，9.5，指每日放工時間，so far，so good。

6. 相較出國讀書前的和尚寺，已見一大進步；唯周遭環境麻氣仍甚重。還望公司能一盡企業社會責任，在最後一個空位內填入美女一名，而且不要為了去除麻氣而炒我。哈。

7. 運用邏輯去思考人的說話，很易出事。他媽的。

無底線之鬼

2012-02-08T20:10:00.013+08:00

兩年前，我去了台灣旅行，買了一本台灣雜誌給妳做手信，封面是妳最喜歡的。妳收到那份禮物那個笑容，大概就是那一刻，我回不了頭了。

朋友，我從來沒當過妳是朋友。

＊

我其實不很喜歡看電影。

眼睛天生就很弱，待在黑暗的空間看著一堆光兩個小時其實好辛苦，每次看完都昏昏欲睡，累到不得了。偏偏妳最愛看電影。而我大概沒說過，認識妳之前，我從來都不怎麼留意最近上演甚麼。電影對我來講，就分“好看”與“不好看”，講完。而妳，總是能說出更深一層的分析，想我沒有想過的角度。妳就是不一樣。

＊

那次，我問妳要不要看王迪詩舞台劇，妳說不了，工作好忙，結果我約了別人。某天，半夜我收到妳的text，說很不開心，想看的王迪詩舞台劇、周杰倫演唱會都爆了。漏夜research，原來王迪詩加場明天就開售，我早上準時十點上urbtix，urbtix卻塞車，我趁老細去廁所偷雞閃了出去，飛落大會堂買了兩張票給你，不是要跟妳看，只是想逗妳開心。妳給我一句“You're my hero”，我沾沾到現在。雖然那該死的舞台劇turns out 根本不好看。

周杰倫飛熱炒，妳說兩千蚊真的沒辦法接受，我狂打人情牌，搭通舊同學的女朋友的哥哥的朋友，請他原價賣給我。周杰倫開show時我已飛到英國了，我一定沒份看，但我只想逗妳開心。妳拿著票的樣子超滿足。離開香港前那天，妳替我提早慶祝生日，那是我那年唯一一個生日蛋糕。我暗中發誓從英國回來後，一定要把妳追到手。

＊

這年，不住的遊山玩水，羨煞旁人。每次旅行我只寄一張明信片，朋友都好奇是誰，因為我不像是會寄明信片給自己那種人。

妳在我生日卡說過想過來英國找我玩。我連妳過來的時候要帶妳去那裡玩都想好了。當然，我知道妳沒承諾過甚麼。後來妳說不來了，我只想了兩天就決定買機票回香港，那怕只是回來兩個禮拜，因為我好掛念妳。剛著地，妳給我text叫我安全抵達就給妳回覆。這比爸媽開車來接我更窩心，我真是衰仔包。

妳有說過，one year can change many things。那時我離開香港不夠一年，我卻驚覺，一直很cautious不想改變自己的我，追不上妳的步伐。我有想過再開口，卻神推鬼擁說不出口，因為面對妳，我從來都只懂9up與傻笑。上機，回英國。或許，這是命。

＊

有想過我真的可以無底線。

我們沒有common friend，不是同事，不是舊同學，不是hallmate。沒有大棚人聚會，只有二人餐。要見到你就要多花3倍力氣，找你會想看的，找你會喜歡的。約妳不能太頻密，怕妳生厭也怕吃妳的檸檬，因為每次失敗而回我都要down好一陣。

妳同事很好，我替妳開心；妳同事不好，我更開心，因為妳會更掛念我。妳跟我說誰的不是，我忍手不落藥，因為我想保持中立，我想妳相信我。雖然我一早說過我不喜歡誰，雖然我想煮死佢好耐，雖然我不能每天見到妳我妒嫉得要命，雖然他在追求妳我立刻幫妳做due d看看他是不是好人。因為，就算我追不到妳，我都希望那個妳的他是個好人。無論如何，妳只需要說一句，鮮花一定到。雖然我不知道那該死的卡打錯了甚麼。

i n a^ol !

但今天，妳跟我說，“I am sure, I cannot make a comparison with those best friends of yours too.”

那是當然的。因為朋友，我真的從來沒有把妳當過朋友。妳的位置從來都比朋友高一點。底線就是，妳不要說那種"很珍惜我們之間友誼"之類的廢話，因為你不是我朋友，你是我愛的女孩，最愛的女孩。

最核心的核心價值

2012-01-31T00:02:00.004+08:00

走過大三巴區附近，有個婆娘拿著牛肉乾讓途人試食。我用廣東話問，“可吾可以試下？” 個婆娘立刻西面，bear了我一野，然後很寸的說，“吾可以wor。”

老實講，我吾係嬲，我是好撚嬲。食你塊牛肉乾，又吾係食你全家！做mud呀而家！

澳門的朋友仔說，我又講廣東話又沒有掛著相機，那婆娘應該以為你是澳門本地人，所以有這樣的反應。

我的疑惑是，點解對著自己人反而要態度差？聽到廣東話要立刻西面，你會覺得好過癮嗎？這樣做人，開心嗎？

又或者簡單一點，你會希望自己被人這樣對待嗎？為甚麼將心比己這麼難？

******

從來都沒進過賭場，今天頭一遍。付了20元學費，至少搞懂了俄羅斯輪盤怎麼玩。站在別人旁邊看看怎麼玩其他的遊戲，然後發現大家都在把籌碼疊來疊去，好不無聊。輸的不見得很沮喪，贏的又不見得很興奮。買大買小，反正不需要用腦決定，哪有開心不開心可言？

紙醉金迷，金碧輝煌，走了一個下午，我想嘔。

******

沈旭輝就寫過，一個國家是需要一套核心價值去維繫。美國人會愛美國，因為這個國家珍惜民主公平，你留在自己的國家是會有機會有希望的。歐洲人多半都愛自己的國家，因為國家愛自己的人民，會保障他們都有優質的生活。台灣人愛台灣，因為他們有希望。說到底，誰不為自己？你認同國家的核心價值，你自然就會愛。

但坦白說，如果我的城市告訴我，她的核心價值就是賭，我寧願死左佢好過。對不起澳門的朋友仔，我也知道這不是你們可以選擇的。雖然這不是新聞，親眼看總是衝擊比較大。

然後看看中國，她的核心價值是甚麼？她的核心價值就是凡事都要以國家利益出發，人民要愛國。你愛國是因為甚麼？是因為要愛國。那是因為甚麼？因為要愛國。那是因為甚麼？

唐豬說捍衛核心價值是最核心的核心價值，但“較不核心的核心價值”包括甚麼，卻一點都說不出來。好，不說就不說沒關係，到有一天你真的要說的時候，千萬別跟我說香港的核心價值是“背靠中國面向世界”就好了。

星火不滅

2012-01-29T00:07:00.004+08:00

朋友仔第一次來香港，我不經意的提出去西環飲茶，找個藉口回港大走一轉。蒲飛路走下去食宵，西環海旁，施德何東，走勁過橋去兩大散隊，Joseph餐廳跟教授吃飯，開心公園内我沒出場的辯論semi，一幕一幕的甜蜜，成就我人生中最無憾的歲月。

原來我比想像中更愛我的母校。走過國殤之柱，陸佑堂，太古橋，我能以舊生身份向台灣的朋友介紹最能代表（我以為的）港大核心價值的景點，無比沾沾。

誰不曾熱血過？怕就怕在，事隔幾年，發現連核心價值都不一樣，你熱血都無叉用。朋友問，大學那邊不會洗掉“民主星火不滅”嗎？我說，不會，至少foreseeable future不會，但further future就難說。

我只希望，這一天來到之前，我會已經死掉了。

新年快樂！

2012-01-24T01:06:00.005+08:00

多得新年無節目，終於租了"The Blind Side" 來看。沒有特別感覺Sandra Bullock演得特別好，只是覺得她角色設計得很討好而已。Anyways。

故事不煽情很感人。感受很深的是那對仔女；啊仔是第一個願意在學校裡跟Big Mike 說話的人；啊女在學校裡無視朋輩奇異目光，在圖書館自動自覺的坐在身旁潮撐Big Mike。不需要人提醒，也不覺得自己在施捨，只覺得這是應分做的。

因為，父母是甚麼人，教出來的仔女也必然是甚麼人。

所以嘛，發達應該是沒有我份的了，但總算樂意做個勤勤懇懇的打工仔。初十回歸中環，for real, I can't wait!

你快樂所以我快樂

2012-01-15T01:51:00.003+08:00

1 有跟朋友說過，自殺死不了的話，很難再來第二次。

2 如果你開心是因為我，我會好很開心。

3 如果你不開心然後找我，我都會開心。你開心番我就仲開心。

4 那末，兩岸和平穩定就應該維持了？

.........

末日

2012-01-02T21:28:00.004+08:00

身邊有幾個朋友這幾天開口埋口末日。事業型朋友仔說，有錢好快D洗，如果到末日時仲有錢剩就好蝕。不過如果turns out 無末日就仆街啦。

小弟錢就洗得7788，可以一死。不過老實說，我本來就不信這一套，不是我樂觀，而是，屌，我都想有o甘簡單啊。全世界一齊死，其實真係無問題，怕就怕在，你想死，都無o甘容易。但我就當生命有這麼簡單：

日子若果不多了，還想怎花？

今天晚上我做了個自殺式的舉動，做了一萬個what－if analysis，再呆坐了一句鐘，我終於按制了。我猜想，自殺真的需要很多很多勇氣。

林海峰說的，This City is Dying, 不過Die，都要Die 得有型。

無辜或者講不上無奈不假

自殺不遂，有的，不一定是後福；但未來，還得要看自己做化。

2011。完

2011-12-31T14:55:00.002+08:00

這一年，主題是掛念。

回家，最詭異的是，似乎沒有多少人記得我沒多久前回來過。老媽子不記得，嬤嬤不記得，爺爺不記得，連姐姐都說不記得。然後都問，對了，你4月回來幹嘛？我說，就為了回來啊。而兩次回來，感覺還是一樣：又愛又怕。我愛美食，但怕那該死的鼻敏感。我愛那便捷的交通，但怕看到自己熟悉的人的變得太快。我愛這裡很多娛樂，但怕原來太多娛樂誰都再沒興趣跟誰說話。

妳還要再想嗎？妳要不要回家？

那天，我吃過妳們親手煮的星洲炒米，聊兩句，天竟然就黑了，簡直晴天霹靂。天黑的那一刻，我決定了，回家，始終是不二之選。

＊

這一年，主題是掛念。

大家都說我今年去了很多旅行，但我覺得不是啊，好多地方還沒有去，北歐幾個國家沒去，東歐沒去，瑞士沒去，數起來，我旅行過的國家數目還不如我那些從美國過來3個月的同學仔。但相對於集郵式的旅行，我更珍重旅行中的那誰。旅行，不再是為了旅行，反而變成探望相聚的副產品。去柏林，去伊斯坦堡，回倫敦，主要都是為了見朋友。居於法國卻沒有去過法國多少地方，但留在巴黎陪著來看我的朋友們，肯定更重要。所以，還是不留遺憾。然後我發覺，就算我本來跟一個人不熟，在異地重遇，總是一樣窩心。

＊

朋友已走。這可算是我第一次，感受很深，卻沒辦法送行。

親愛的，無論你有多遠我有多忙，我都想見你。

＊

我快樂有時
我叫悶有時 
也算上天的恩賜 

回頭是憤慨
看不到未來 
於年月裡比賽

如果可以用腳走路，為甚麼要坐車？
如果可以事前找路，為甚麼要用GPS？
如果有正路可以走，為甚麼要走捷徑？

時光機永未及發明　哪裡覓證明
轉季讓半山結冰
這嘀嗒　又嘀嗒
時鐘似簷蓬滴雨聲

一切還原基本步。與其去追逐甚麼新科技新潮流新興行業新機會新機遇，以不變應萬變，風水輪流轉，總有一日輪番到我。憨居？Yes。但慘得過我過到自己。

仰首太空　再看清一片藍圖星宿 
怎麼那北斗永亮透 
只可半生奔馳　好比試管嬰兒
空間裡的真相不會知

永遠沒法預知哪日得你重視。
但我是一個防中。我仲頂得順。

掉那媽，頂硬上，同胞們，共勉之。

就是有一種人

2011-12-30T10:26:00.002+08:00

無論她做甚麼
你都沒辦法生氣

真傻假傻
我都分不清

哈。

2011-12-28T00:20:00.002+08:00

仰首太空再看清一片藍圖星宿

說起變

2011-12-23T23:34:00.004+08:00

天與地，說起變。

“現在很明顯只有你在變。”Dr. Dylan 對佘詩曼說。

但這個世界，是否真的這麼clear cut，就只有某個人變而其他人沒有？其實我相信大家都在變，問題只是，變好了還是變壞了？

或許在你妳你妳你的眼中，我已變成一個宅／煩氣／sae guae／悶蛋的人也說不定。

我不知道，但我想知道。

＊

有想過。人生中很多關係都這樣，隨風就消失了。有人說，cest la vie，係o甘架啦，成熟點，看開點。
你當我不成熟也好，隨風而去，卻不是我case close的方式。

我盤算著，我怎麼面對你，你又會怎麼面對我。會難堪嘛？會尷尬嘛？會不捨嘛？

都會。

但，刻意不去面對，大概是最差最差的方案。就像鐵證懸案，讓它封塵，就變成永遠的遺憾。

Wonderful tonight

2011-12-15T06:39:00.003+08:00

I never thought I would miss this damned city but yes, I think I would miss it after all. The tower, the museums, the steak tartare, the crepes, the cafes. And the lovely fellows.

It's been like a dream. These 15 months. Meeting awesome people. Learning about myself. Knowing how much I loved home. And knowing how much love I actually need.

I still remember the moment when I decided to do this. I was excited. I was hesitant. I was excited. I was hesitant. But I was excited.

And now it's the time for the excitement to die down. The dream is over. I want to go home. But at the same time I know there are issues I don't want to face back there. But I want to go home. But I don't want to.

December moody fits. Hurts like hell. I've had two glasses of red, I know what happens after that, and crying in the party is the last thing I want to do. So I skip the Xmas party and go home.

Still early. The Xmas lights in Versailles are still on. Thanks be to God. It's beautiful. From Versailles Chantiers I just go straight on, ignoring all red lights on the way. Caring about nothing except the beautiful boulevard surrounding me. I sing loudly along with the music I'm playing in my headphones.

"I was a stranger in a city
Out of town where the people I know
I had that feeling of self pity
What to do what to do what to do
The outlook was decidedly blue
But as I walked through the foggy streets alone
It turned out to be the luckiest day I've known..."

Just think, if at the crossroads there's a driver who couldn't realize I am there...

Wouldn't that be nice to just die today?

It's wonderful tonight. And all of a sudden, maybe, just maybe, I don't want to go home anymore.

How to become a Parisian

2011-12-14T07:36:00.003+08:00

話說李克勤有首經典舊歌叫 One Night in Paris:

浪漫得你呀。

＊

大概所有在巴黎生活過的人都心知肚明，巴黎，只有沒有來過的人會覺得浪漫。

＊

或許，兩個人一起的話，在最不浪漫的地方都可以是浪漫的。

Awkward friends

2011-12-13T20:28:00.006+08:00

最遠的距離，不是physical distance

而是，科技明明發達，而你連跟我溝通的心思都不再願意花。

難得建立過的信任，你需要我時，我一定會在。而且我不願意改變我對你的支持。

*

心酸酸的。

我想知道自己錯了甚麼，但最怕發現，不需要自己做錯甚麼，結果都會一樣，

因為你變了。

*

你還會掛念我嘛？

Swing Swang Swung - Goodbye the magicians

2011-11-24T01:34:00.004+08:00

第一次接觸Snowman，是在勁歌金曲，他們唱了《下一站》。

1999／2000年，那是VRF 的年代。那是E-kids 的年代。當時每看到男子組合就會想嘔。

《下一站》不是我最喜愛的那種歌，但一聽就知道，Snowman是不一樣的。

＊

有關Eric

《一枝花》、《喜帖街》、《貝多芬與我》、《有個人》、《幸福摩天輪》、《最佳損友》、《落花流水》、《夕陽無限好》，哪首不經典。他證明了，商業化不需要老土，也證明了，K歌都可以超襟聽。

另，這姓郭的傢伙肯定是郭德榮的細佬。

（Demo: 當荃灣愛上柴灣。喜歡曲，但更喜歡詞。從前覺得，從新界回家的路像一世都坐不完。現在住Versailles就明白，陪她回去的那個，應該不會比她自己更難過。）

＊

有關Jerald

Jerald風格，慢歌懶洋洋，總會聽得很輕鬆。快歌跳脫，但總不會是我最討厭的dance music。超喜歡《Opening Day》（因為從未派台所以差不多無人認識，那是《On Fire》專輯内的歌），奔放的trombone叫人很懷念Symphonic Band 的日子。當然，更喜歡他的shoo－be－doo；阮小儀破壞了《小流星》（sorry to say），但Jerald那段scat singing卻救活了一首歌。

（如果你有聽過原唱Blue Jeans 版本的《下雨天》，你就會知道多了中間的shoo－be－doo 會有多大分別。）

那時Juno出道，人人喊打，滿手爛歌，甚麼《愛上殺手》、《大風吹》聽到我高呼wtf。後來我聽到《非公開表演》，對Juno又完全改觀。Jerald與Juno把聲都是很高音的，《放棄愛情》、《不戀愛更好》、《原地轉》、《超生培慾》等，風格match得天衣無縫；just like magic，因為Jerald發功，我開始喜歡Juno了。

＊

Snowman改名Swing，第一首《Shut Up》也不是最好聽的歌，但jam了電話鈴聲，越聽越過癮；《1984》剛好聖誕節時推出，Last Christmas Version 帶我發掘了一大堆新 chords；有一段時間很討厭彈琴，《黑雨天白鋼琴》叫我趁黑雨天再打開我的啡鋼琴；《帝國大廈》用爛鼓編曲記念911；《大大公司》是job seekers的飲歌（你看一下歌詞就會明白了）；《男人不可以窮》則是女奴飲歌，哈。

我記得Form 4，我們一起去看森小的《冬音宮》，featuring SWING。你們記得嗎？Form 5 graddin的表演，5B 用維他奶玻璃樽吹校歌，我還編了一點和音呢。靈感就是來自Eric，Jerald，森跟小（不過玻璃樽沒有tune 好，聽到Ms. Yu 皺眉頭 :P）。

Swing的歌，詞不美，簡單到你吾信，但幾過癮。Swing的字典裡沒有沈重。生活已經夠沈重了，聽歌，不需要更多悲傷的情緒。等運到，聽《一命二運三風水》；被女飛，聽《半張飛》；吾想番工，聽《宇宙洪荒》。很多歌聽完只會enhance一個人不開心的情緒：呢首歌講緊我，我是全世界最慘的人，我最慘所以要嚎叫飲泣巴撚閉。Swing的歌卻不然，一切都淡淡的，life goes on，笑下啦。

2009年復出後，我最喜歡《麵包生命》。平和的編曲＋Wyman的歌詞，在我英國捱飽的日子是何其重要的警示？

音樂，應該要是快樂的。

＊

Goodbye SWING。

那些年，你們不在幕前，but the magic was still there. And I hope it will still be there.

願Jerald加拿大生活愉快。Eric+Grace 新婚快樂。

＊

連Swing都變成“那些年”，唉。

Midnight in Paris

2011-11-16T07:44:00.003+08:00

Everybody says Paris is the most romantic place in the world.

Is it because of the river?
Is it because of the Tower?
Is it because of Notre Dame?
Is it because of Pont Alexandre?

No.

It's because of its timelessness.

What time does it close? 4:45 French time. What time does it open? 3pm French time. When will the train come? 0:06 French time.
In reality it means 4:30, 3:30pm and 0:40 respectively. Or it could mean 4:15, 4pm and 0:50. You'd never know. Woody Allen says it all. I didn't like the film, but yes, timelessness is indeed the magic of Paris. Just in another way.

Is it romantic? Yes. Because you love it, and you hate it. Without that hate, nah, I guess it would be just too perfect to make any sense.

*

Use one word (in English) or two words (in Chinese) to describe yourself. Then ask several of your friends to think up one word (in English) or two words (in Chinese) to describe you.

Let me know if you are as confused as I am now.

一千零一夜

2011-11-14T06:59:00.009+08:00

“其實你過到自己個關就無問題。好多人會話，你吾開心，就係時候止蝕。但我覺得，甚至吾開心都吾一定要止蝕，只要你過到自己個關就得。o甘幾時會過吾到？你過吾到的時候就會知。”

沒有值不值得，只有想，與不想。

*

等她的笑　等她的愛
等她等了不知不覺一千夜
等她的吻　等她擁抱
輾轉不覺花開等到花凋謝
讓我每夜暖一些
回憶日作有一個落漠造夢者

Oh Juliet　已一千個夜
Juliet　再等幾個夜
會對我好些　若愛情可借
盼今晚　你可否暫借

等她哭了　等她傷了
等她等了一千加上多一夜
等心死了　等她需要
等她知道　終於等到她感謝
若要每夜暖一些
情願像妳變一個
幸運被愛者

盼今晚　你可否暫借

我終於想起為甚麼想起這首歌了！

願我可

2011-11-02T08:27:00.003+08:00

沈迷或放棄亦無可不可
毫無代價唱最幸福的歌

*

跟老友說起，這幾個月都有點dead air
原來不用廣東話說無聊話是很有難度的
很多無聊trap 在肚裡面
有點要爆炸的感覺

你平時在香港週末會做甚麼？

2011-10-31T07:23:00.004+08:00

今天non-HK朋友仔問我這個問題。因為佢覺得香港就等於行街，但佢又知我吾鍾意行街。

我答：打波，食飯，帶狗玩。

我發覺，其實我個人都幾悶架wor。

Wei，吾好跌入去等死會啊！醒呀！強！

伊斯坦堡

2011-10-21T08:30:00.004+08:00

每天盲目的尋找到底甚麼我想要
卻發現迷了路怎麼找也找不著

原來是這樣的

2011-10-19T00:43:00.003+08:00

死亡，這麼遠，原來又不遠。

＊

跟妳沒有很熟悉。

印象中，妳就是一個傻更更的可愛女孩。

進大學後，在Haking熱狗檔外碰見過妳幾次。每次都問妳近來可好，上莊嗎？搞緊mud。

跟妳沒有很熟悉。但知道消息，還是覺得太震撼。

＊

願妳在天國仍然掛著那傻更更的可愛笑容。

寫在十月十日

2011-10-10T04:40:00.008+08:00

我記得去年今天，第一次參加台灣同學會的活動，那時慶祝十月十日“國慶”。去的原因好簡單，有人叫我去吃飯怎麼會不去。搞手們又揮動青天白日滿地紅旗甚麼的，我感覺格格不入自己有點odd。

但細心去想。十月一日跟十月十日，哪個才是真正的國慶？

一百年前，孫中山等發動辛亥革命，佔領整個武昌，推翻清政府，結束帝制。那是中國人歷史輝煌的一天，我完全不用懷疑。

一九四九年十月一日，共產黨打敗國民黨，成立中華人民共和國，這個十月一日也變成正式的國慶。但你問我，那是中國人歷史輝煌的一天嗎？我卻有點...說不出來。

＊不喜勿插＊

台灣人一般都會說自己不是中國人是台灣人。中國同胞們也或許會不高興。這說法也一般被認為是政治不正確。

但同時，如果中國內地（及香港及澳門）人會慶祝十月一日，即慶祝中華人民共和國成立，即慶祝一個基於打敗了國民黨才成立的政府。現在的台灣人明明就是共產黨當年打走的那班人，你現在還慶祝自己當年打走了那班人，那就是根本沒有當過他們是自己人了吧？不然自己人打贏自己人有啥好慶祝的？

我開始有點搞不懂了。

當然你也可以說，辛亥革命，推翻了當時腐敗的清政府；內戰結束，推翻了當時貪污腐敗的國民黨政府...所以十月一日很值得慶祝。

但按此推論，十月一日要慶祝的話，十月十日還是沒有理由不慶祝。雖然我大概也是不會揮動青天白日滿地紅旗，不過中華人民共和國的國旗，我也是一樣沒有揮過。

況且，這個島，是唯一中國人能真正擁有民主的地方。光是這個existence，也夠值得慶祝了吧。

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-07T02:31:00.003+08:00

我自問是一個technology laggard，昨天晚上跟友人談起Steve英年早逝，她說沒想過你會關注。

我說，我沒有iphone，但有Macbook，所以也算半個Mackie吧。Macbook用了一年多，也明白了為甚麼有些人成功有些人不。蘋果的設計關注用家的每一個需要，你平時用電腦會遇到的問題，他們都有想過。每一個難題，大又好細又好，都是改進的機會，也都是勝過對手的機會，也都是贏得掌聲的機會。同樣，日本雖然經濟滑落，但她的文化卻一直受人景仰，就是那種kaizen，那種對生活的關懷，教你不得不佩服。

我討厭英國人不善改進的同時，卻一直發現自己沒有好到哪裡去。我不是一個curious的人，也不是一個entrepreneurial的人。砌一個model，如果已經懂得既有的方法，我很少會去找更快的方法。教授一直強調“This is not user friendly"，我發覺我從來沒有關注過這問題。

我過的人生，是一個讓家人都放心的人生，是每個下一步都非常清楚明確的人生，但同時，也可能是一個永遠衝不破框框的人生。有目標，有收成，但沒有WOW。因為我會settle。因為我不會keep looking。

多得大家在fb的分享，聽過Steve在Stanford的演說，感動了。

我不是說我現在就決定要創業甚麼的。但生活裡，對人，對工作，少一份assumption，多一份關懷，也多一份好奇，我想，我總能做到。

Stay hungry, stay foolish. 我希望我能做到。

寫在十月一日

2011-10-01T17:41:00.005+08:00

很多論調在說，保衛香港，反對陸沈，我們她們分得很清楚。彷彿人家現在要攻打香港一樣。

可能個人感情影響吧，我是菲傭帶大的，早已把她當成自己人。不同膚色而已，難道就可以把一起生活相處的經歷抹掉？

在一個地方生活工作7年，你會覺得這地方不是你的家？我在英國才一年，再討厭她跟她八字再不合，她也是我半個家啊。

很多人嫌人家低技術勞工，但在香港發展最關鍵的時候，沒有她們的貢獻，香港女性在社會，職場的地位絕對不會像現在，走在世界前線。

香港人，憑甚麼看不起外傭？Cosmopolitan，你還夠膽認嗎？你還夠膽做嗎？

沒有接納、欣賞不同人的胸襟，香港真要滅亡的話，不會是因為大陸人，不會是因為菲傭，只會是因為自己沈淪。

＊

《釋法》

現在局勢很簡單，都七年了，她今天上門要你給個名分。

要是你動不動就找個大佬釋個法去把人打發掉，未來就不要怪大佬永遠都當你是二打六小嘍囉。

不要釋法，請不要釋法。

真愛是真的嗎？

2011-09-24T03:19:00.007+08:00

近來鬧得最熱烘烘的話題，是女作家高慧然在爽報的專欄《靚女橫行》内一篇文章《他憑甚麼追我？》。還沒有看過的，可到這裡看看:
http://www.hihiforum.com/thread-39626-1-1.html

Forum網友反應奇大，很多人說這女的這副樣子憑甚麼大言不慚，正港女，樣衰兼無品（下刪一萬字）...

老實說，我是不能理解為甚麼大家都會真心的以為她在說自己，並加以歧視。本人認為，作者不應被歧視的原因有二：
1 內容很明顯不是真心話，因為太弱智了。既然不是真心話，沒有理由歧視她沒有自知之明。
2 如果內容真的是真心話，她很明顯就是弱智了。我們不應該歧視弱智人士，因為這違反殘疾歧視條例。

反正作者已經澄清了，說這只是第一身故事寫作手法，證明她不是弱智。我個人對這文章沒有甚麼意見，老實說，論狠辣文筆，本人認為高小姐絕對不夠王迪詩綴核；但就網友的follow up 討論，我的感受卻很深。似乎很多人並不發覺內容有反諷的意味，認為高小姐是真心膠，才會對之口誅筆伐。然後我在想，這是為甚麼？？

*********

看過我偶像張如城新歌的全新MV，我，開始明白了。

看著這MV，一開始只是覺得，wow，好dum本啊！專程到北京取外景，還請了dancer跟老外在長城fing紅旗打鼓！

直到最後，發現原來老外跟dancer們，都是中央電視台提供的人員。我shock了一shock。他，得到了中央的祝福啊。

...這是真的嗎？

*********

甚麼是真，甚麼是假，我發覺我已經吾識得分。我望住杯内黑色的咖啡，我望吾透，呢個世界仲有幾多野我係掌握到？我好迷惘。

隨著這世界越來越多真心膠出現，我想，像《他憑甚麼追我？》的這類爭議，只會越來越多。

Navigo

2011-09-19T05:42:00.005+08:00

整個禮拜都在想要不要買Navigo (巴黎版八達通/oyster)。太多條件太多選擇，眼花撩亂。Zone 3-4 一個價，Zone 1-4一個價，斷週計一個價，斷月計又一個價。Navigo 29歐一個禮拜，實在很那貴。不用Navigo 的話，另外一個方法是一次過買10張票，比逐次買票的價錢打了個7折。問題在於，metro的票在上學的火車不能用，上學的火車票從Versailles去巴黎不能用，Versailles去La Defense的票去St Lazare 不能用...結論是我要隨身帶著3堆不同的票。

如此一來就要開始算自己一個禮拜會有多少天上學，會有多少天去巴黎玩，從而算出哪一個比較便宜。慘在法國學校的timetable十分法國，充滿randomness，一個禮拜上一天課，下一個禮拜上四天，再下一個禮拜又只有兩天。抵與不抵，實在無從計算。就算assume自己一個禮拜有3天出去巴黎，也不一定能值回那29歐。但如果去每一個景點都搭metro的話，條數又吾同計法。但如果景點與景點之間用走路的，多點東西看其實比較過癮。但如果集中一個禮拜去不同的巴黎景點的話就抵到爛了，問題是，我明明住在這裡，為甚麼要玩得像個遊客？但如果...

人窮，縮數，煩到喊。

大原則是，我不想因為付了upfront payment而逼自己非出去不可。人，不應該因為“宅”而感到愧疚。所以，我今天又窩在房間裡，等住今晚出去踢波。

朋友們，我還是等你們來找我才買Navigo吧 =)

First quartile － check!

2011-09-16T06:29:00.003+08:00

Papa Tarek once asked me：You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you do sports, what is your exit plan?

Honestly, I don’t have an exit plan. Though I am leading a (probably) extremely healthy and (possibly) boring life (no clubbing and else), but actually, I don’t want to live THAT long. So I hope, today I have reached at least one fourth of my life. If it’s one third, I guess that’s even better. (*wink)

＊

感謝Facebook諸位洗板式祝賀，另inbox message及skype message不計其數。

去年生日很安靜，因為剛踏足英國還在jetlag中。今年在法國，更安靜，上了一課excel modelling，然後回家去。有想過今天不如吃豪華一點當是跟自己慶祝，在Marche 附近走來走去看有甚麼好餐廳。然後發現，我個人始終孤寒底，天價鵝肝田螺，遠不及抵食夾大件14歐crepe套餐食得安樂。豪華大餐，還是留待跟良朋知己一起吃才算享受。

由Jouy走上campus每天身水身汗，再加Versailles Chantiers回家要走路超過30分鐘（單車應該10分鐘吧），呢3個月，想肥都難。

在我鯨吞兩個crepe加一個沙律的同時，卻不知何故，腦内浮現了一碟窩蛋免治牛肉飯。

＊

二三二四，工作了三年，感覺自己經歷了人生的低潮，很殘很累，機件故障，頻頻死火。

不像大部份人，我早幾年沒有exchange的經驗，不過遲到，總好過無到。出走剛好一周年，看到不一樣的世界，不一樣的人，不一樣的角度。

世界是如此的大，二十五年，才不過夠你學懂這一點點。路還遠，豈能言倦？

大個仔啦，撻番著架車，再上路罷。

＊

多謝把我帶到這世界的兩老。個人並不是非凡出眾之流，但多得兩位在我成長路中從來都讓我自行碰釘（當然也同時給予無限量支持），小弟可謂經歷千奇百趣，無得威都叫做有得講呀。

這一年，最深的體會是，原來已經很快樂。

＊

近排好多人問，所以正式announce 一次：香港時間12月19日，凱旋回歸！

遇見chok樣怪獸

2011-09-12T07:24:00.004+08:00

Chok 樣怪獸今日坐我隔離，un腳un到我暈車浪。低頭拿番個袋，該名怪獸竟然除左鞋繼續un 腳，而且，佢著converse但無著襪！@@

New motto

2011-09-10T04:57:00.003+08:00

肚仔餓，腳仔軟，頂硬上，be a man!

你是甚麼人，就必到哪裡去

2011-09-07T23:16:00.005+08:00

可能是之前在Mannheim的經歷比較不如意。可能是因為有參加足球隊。可能是因為這裡鳥不生蛋。也可能是因為我generally比較容易對一個團體有attachment。

但我絕對相信，能夠互相connect的人，就自然會走到一起。結果來到WBS，打的是羽毛球不是哥爾夫；喝的是可樂不是紅酒；玩的是UNO不是德州撲克；說的是別人多厲害不是自己多有錢。無論世界怎變，我們，大概也只能是這個樣子，變也變不了。

型嗎？不型。我們不是top business school，但有些東西，真的比ranking重要，no grapes involved。華威人，謙虛，務實，有禮而不失幽默感。值得沾沾。

在這裡最後一天，我只想到這個。

I was just joking

2011-09-07T05:52:00.004+08:00

OK when did we last talk about this?

I was bluffing with Mr. Koo about changing his dissertation topic to "The factors leading Liverpool citizens to become fans of Everton instead of Liverpool FC". So Mr. Koo asked me for a quote to help him write his dissertation. I quoted 4000 quid.

Hard to believe somebody (not from our uni) actually approached me for this purpose. Strangely enough, the guy contacted me and said his friend needed to go home and get married, and didn't have time to do his dissertation. He needs help. He just needs a C. Can you please help.

Ms. K said I should quote 4000 quid and see what happens.

Nah. What if he says yes?

So you see, Mr. Koo, what a good friend I am to you. At least I was willing to give you a quote (*wink).

*

Thank you, my friend, for deliberately coming over for our last chat on campus :)

年輕的臂章默默除下了...

半夜三點

2011-09-06T10:01:00.003+08:00

這幾天，走路的步伐放得很慢。離開sports centre回家，慢慢的蕩來蕩去，random walk。彷彿走慢一點，就能吸收多一點這裡的空氣。

離開的日子越近，就越不捨得睡。彷彿少睡一點，就能記住這裡多一點。

原來，我真係會吾捨得。

後天，又開始一段新的路。緩慢地隨遇地前衛地行過去。

＊

好友古先生明天一早就走。臨別，握手，大家都叮囑他快點努力找個女朋友。

共勉之。

夢遠了，我都還記得

2011-09-04T10:39:00.005+08:00

It's kind of interesting how MBA programs usually sell themselves for transforming people. That's what they always tell you at the start of the course. Get out of your comfort zone. Be more adventurous and ENTREPRENEURIAL. I did dream of how marvellously I would be changed. I'd become a confident person, loads of MBA bullshit, awesome job prospects...

It now seems that MBA was actually a journey to find out how perversely stubborn a person I am. I always used to think I'm not that much of a Virgo but now I know better.

In the past month I had actually been doing a lot of proofreading work for some non-native English speakers on their dissertations. Dissertations would usually discuss whether a qualitative or a quantitative approach is more suitable for the research topic blah blah. One thing I noticed is that

I BELIEVE IN NONE OF THE QUALITATIVE RESEARCH. Yes. Most people use a qualitative approach because of time constraints, because there are not enough samples...and so, I believe in none of them. None at all. OK, yes, you wrote in the case study that you interviewed a guy who said A. But he could be bluffing. Yes, B said the same thing but then I'd start thinking, they won't let you know the whole story anyway so of course they'd say something that's consistent with the rumours in the industry. And there would usually be no case C because of the time constraints.

And so I do a quantitative research. That's not too much better, actually. By working on my dissertation I found how easy it is to muck up the numbers. So you've already done the whole analysis and you find you messed up something in the middle, though it's not obvious and it MIGHT not affect the results. Do you start over? I started over twice but when I messed something up the third time, I just couldn't force myself to do it again. Nobody would check anyway. And due to time constraints my sample was only from the S&P500. And to cover my ass I say the limitation is that S&P500 might not be able to represent the entire market. And end up concluding NOTHING, which I am actually quite comfortable with.

What is the point of doing a dissertation, then?

What's even more scary is that I now know I am a non-believer in basically EVERYTHING. I got goosebumps the moment I write this.

Alright James, I wrote this in English just for you.

無論世界怎變

2011-09-03T08:48:00.002+08:00

每天每天　站在忙亂又無聊的路旁
等你向我走來
每天每天　一直看見到你和你說話
才算有個開始

每天每天　我都沒感覺我們有什麼改變
我一直以為　這是永遠
而我無法想像你會離開

我已習慣　你走在我的右手邊
一起看無聊搞笑片
約好去看地中海的藍

我已習慣　我們在一起像Old friend
分享生活裡的一切　我知道你每個笑
有不同的意義存在

明白讓你走會後悔(不願意你離開)
這樣的感情太可貴(我現在已瞭解)
我要的幸福
每一天　每一天　慢慢發現
And I love you baby　不會再後退
也不能只是你的　朋友

我已習慣　你走在我的右手邊
一起看無聊搞笑片
約好去看地中海的藍

我已習慣　我們在一起像Old friend
分享生活裡的一切　我只要你在身邊
讓你明白我的愛

太聰明

2011-09-01T15:51:00.004+08:00

Facebook 新功能（其實應該已經不新了），你去年今天在Facebook status 說過甚麼，他今天提醒你一次。如果你去年今天沒有update，最頂癮是，他會提醒你你前年說過甚麼。實在有點多餘，頂你吾順。

2009年9月1日，你的新開始。

我知道我不應該再為自己的失敗而介懷。只是每次回望，總是心有餘愧。

人不應讓過去拖著後腿。如果我要回顧過去我自己會去看，用不著你pop up來提醒。Facebook，鏟走這功能吧。

職業病

2011-09-01T07:05:00.002+08:00

原本就打算甚麼都不管的

豈料發現了其中一個位明明應該寫PB卻寫錯了MV

Bulk print 模式一旦啓動就無法收手

現在整份dissertation都劃花了。

我頂。

Brightened up

2011-08-30T23:20:00.001+08:00

把無關痛癢的碎碎念統統刪掉

這天，感覺良好 :)

一個人的週末

2011-08-21T05:00:00.006+08:00

前天應該是在英國第四次寫信去要求refund了，一口氣就寫了兩封，一封給LiverpoolFC，另一封給London Midlands Train。同日，又收到Megabus的refund。

英國的service，很善於道歉，只是不善改進。鏟人是有回報的，但你要給她時間，還要你慢慢教他們如何找回你的booking record。

加上我多次在pub裡的奇遇，我想，我的命格可能真的跟英國有點相沖。

是時候要離開了吧？

＊

今天有翻看以前的blog entry。我記得，大概4個月前我回了香港。上機前，卻莫名奇妙的感到害怕。很很很害怕。

所以那兩個禮拜，我自己都覺得自己怪怪地。而我卻一直解釋不了。

早幾天跟朋友仔說了幾句，才終於明白自己害怕甚麼。

＊

我很老土。我可以變，但不喜歡變。而近兩三年，卻發現身邊的人和事變得很快。快得我也有點甩beat了。
也許是我慢了。也許是你快了。總之，就是甩beat了。

前天才剛看到廣告，英國現在才開始討論要興建高鐵。住在這個所有事都慢10拍的國度快要一年了，我還有整整4個月，

我其實有點怕自己回不去。

＊

很多人都會以為我做所有事都很有效率，輕鬆淡定。我其實sae guae到你不信，只不過我會下很多功夫去隱藏，我會做好多事去打底。我其實一點都不聰明，但每做一件事，我背後用了多少時間，我不會告訴你，我只會告訴你，我很快的完成，是為了要去旅行。

還有人以為我的花名叫“譚嘉強”是因為我“強”，這是流的。
而實際上，我不知道有多少人知道其實我可以有多脆弱。

因為這些，是我在對話中無法說出口的。這就是我的性格缺憾。你，知道嘛？

＊

你，只在難過的時候才想起我。

請原諒我長長的發up風，因為我平時乞食的對象全都去旅行了，我的餃子＋半條麵包被偷走，現在卻天黑兼下雨不能去Tesco，而我已經連續兩天都吃了Tesco那份量嚴重不夠的叮叮pasta，肚子還餓著呢。我好難過啊，但跟你說這個會不會太扯了？...

今天是正能量

2011-08-18T19:25:00.002+08:00

無關痛癢的事不去想，不想不想，就不煩了.

有得揀，算吾算老闆？

2011-08-03T18:42:00.002+08:00

因為之前的工作，因為現在的外快freelance，也可能因為將來會做回老本行，我應該大半輩子都花在防止一些老鼠屎搞衰一鍋粥的工作上。建設甚少，倒是能騙一點飯吃。

當你做這工作卻沒有錢作為回報，面對這樣的處境，選擇有3：

1 叫老鼠不要拉屎
2 繼續執屎
3 忘記那些屎，整鍋粥吃掉就算

由於1是不可能的，2是煩人的，趁還能選擇，我選擇3。

Perverse behaviour by a non-shopaholic

2011-08-01T07:59:00.003+08:00

一直都不是購物狂，不喜歡window shopping，也沒有不買不舒服的問題，只有買錯東西不舒服的問題。

由於近來手頭比較緊，去德國旅行時都盡量節衣縮食，包括想盡辦法不買票搭巴士地鐵，包括食包當飯，包括住朋友屋企免得住酒店等等...

我在Dresden的Baroque Quarters逛了一圈，裡面都是gallery跟designer boutique，價錢當然亦不菲。

我在一家麵包店買了一個價值0.15歐的豬仔包打算當晚餐。

下一分鐘我進了一家店，卻買了一條價值99歐的牛仔褲，一舉打破了我畢生最貴牛仔褲的紀錄。

離開這店以後，我覺得這區很危險，所以寧願立刻回去Hauptbahnhof 等車等半小時。但，我完全沒有辦法解釋自己的behaviour。

有關星期六的記憶

2011-07-24T09:25:00.003+08:00

今天老遠去倫敦看Chicago，看完就立刻回來。Musical本身幾entertaining，但感覺好累，也沒有心情逛倫敦。
回家路上突然想起，我的星期六都怎麼過的？

一年前一定會記得星期一至五＝返工
幾個月前一定會記得星期一至五＝返學

一年前一定會記得星期六＝ hockey
幾個月前一定會記得星期日＝踢波

翻查手機上的schedule，有關過去九個月的星期六，卻竟然沒有多少線索。

星期六，你去了哪裡？

有關酒

2011-07-14T07:58:00.003+08:00

從來都覺得，逼人喝酒是世界上最無聊的事。

食物不吃完會浪費，酒喝不完卻不會。想喝就喝不想喝就不喝，如果喝的人根本就不喜歡酒，喝了才算浪費。

就怪自己受不了群眾壓力又喝多了，頭痛了一整個晚上，想吐了兩次都忍住了。這是酒量好的人永遠都不會明白的，所以他們都會繼續不斷的叫人喝酒。有人說，酒量可以練回來。但是我根本不享受，傷胃又傷肝，我為甚麼要練？

酒量差就是我遺傳的體質，明知只有辛苦，沒有享受，就不應該喝。

頭好痛。唉。

有關激進

2011-07-04T04:02:00.003+08:00

連日都有看有關七一遊行及其後示威者阻街的相關報導。例行公事，搞手一定報大數，政府一定報細數，然後一定會有人說數目多少不緊要，你們二十萬人能代表全港嗎，即使只有五萬人我們的聲音就不重要嗎之類之類。這些都是預料之內。

始料不及的是大家對於示威者“激進”的評論。人在海外，消息最方便就是看yahoo，看的都是yahoo上的人發表評論。90％的人都不斷譴責示威者是暴民，正癲狗，被政客利用，阻住大家番屋企好自私，繼而支持快點通過遞補機制，好讓那些癲狗永遠不得回去議會。

雖然我知道他們不能代表overall population，但也很overwhelming。

你覺得有些政客搞屎棍，這很subjective，我也不知道那些政客的最終目的是不是真的為香港好，我沒有辦法說你錯。
你覺得他們暴民與否，也很subjective，我也沒有辦法說你錯。
你覺得他們阻街，是犯法，暴力是不對的，我也沒有辦法說你錯。
你覺得，準時回家不被阻礙，是你的權利，我當然也沒有辦法說你錯。

但我沒有想過，你在一個假日準時番屋企的權利會這麼重要，比一些所謂"PK"爭取保留選舉的權利更重要，比爭取政府不要粗暴立法更重要。

被政客利用，會造就他們每個月多了十萬議員薪金，這樣實在不好。所以寧願被政府利用，繼而造就中共政權繼續慢慢拿走你僅有的權利，千秋萬代永垂不朽萬歲萬歲萬萬歲。

會上yahoo留言的，我斷估是年輕人。一向以為以上觀點都屬於上一輩人的，呢次我真係估你吾到。香港人，幾時變成o甘架？

心都痛埋。

Farewell

2011-07-02T06:39:00.003+08:00

有時會唸，我自問都係一個幾有自信既人，未驚過揾吾到工，未驚過揾吾到錢，未驚過project會搞吾掂，未驚過同陌生人social...
但有驚過自己一世都揾吾到下一個女朋友。

老實講，無拍拖已經年幾兩年，你而家問我點拍拖，甚至點樣開始一段關係，我都已經吾記得。久而久之，變成一個絕緣體。

好耐無人同我講過覺得我係一個荀盤，真係多謝晒。

When jokes are not jokes they are really funny

2011-06-24T14:26:00.002+08:00

It's pretty much the first time I talk to MBA students from somewhere other than Warwick. Turns out different schools really breed different people.

So me and Ms. Ayse were having lunch with an American guy exchanging from Thunderbird. He said he has a job interview in Hamburg in the next few days, and it will be conducted in German.

Ms. Ayse said, "Ah. So you will be telling them what are your weaknesses in German!" and we chuckled. Well in case you don't know why we chuckled, it's because Warwick students have the common perception that "What are your weaknesses?" is about the daftEST question on earth for any interviewer to ask.

Then this guy said, "Yea. Ich bien ein perfectionist." I didn't know a word of German so for my benefit he translated it. "I am a PERFECTIONIST." he said.

And he went on. "I could never let go of something until it's perfect. I really can't do it. And there's another thing. I can't lie. If I lied it'd be all over my face. I can't even play poker. And I can't bribe. There are many things I can do, but you can't tell me to do anything unethical."

Just in case, I took a look and made sure he's not serious.

Oh no. He IS serious about the question. So both me and Ms. Ayse went dead silent. Thank god it's time for class to resume.

Alumni networks

2011-06-06T17:07:00.003+08:00

Met some girls from my own sec school in London.

Just because they happen to be in London. Frankly, if we were all in Hong Kong, I'd never even THINK about meeting them for lunch just to chitchat. Funny thing about being in a foreign place, we all suddenly become friends.

And oh how we've grown. We talk about our jobs, we talk about business, we talk about people getting married. The "she" now isn't the "she" we knew back then. The "me" now, I know, is certainly not the "me" we knew back then neither.

*

Came across another inspiring blogpost from my favourite blogger: 人在中環: 有火的日子

There is always a positive way to view things.

As my undergrad buddy said today, the very fact of being a student revitalises anyone. And regaining youth at heart is worth it all. Never mind the money.

Looking back, if it wasn't for that incident, I think I'd never be triggered to apply for an MBA program. I'd never be able to get in touch with a whole new world. I'd never be able to know how lucky I was to own whatever I already had owned.

However painful, it turned out to be something good.

Stamina

2011-06-03T07:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wish I didn't have that stamina.
Was it a waste of time and effort? Yes, absolutely.
Was it self-destructive? Yes, dangerously too!
But why are you still doing it? Well...
I enjoyed the game.
Though I always lose. And I know I never will win.
Some day, I know, I'll get tired and I'll quit.
Somehow =)

First impression and changes

2011-05-24T01:27:00.003+08:00

Came across the msn history of one of my conversations with a friend, on the first day of my course.

"So! How's your course? Any HKers?"
"Yea, 4 including me"
"How were they?"
"Quite nice. Two of them are like, 4 to 5 years older than me, and there's another younger one, I guess she's about the same age. But she's very quiet. Like sheep"
"Sheep!"
"Yea. I am afraid of sheep. They are very boring."
"That's a funny way to put it."
"You know sheep, they don't even realize you are laughing at them when you do so. That's not fun"

A few months passed. The sheep turned out not what she seemed to be on our first day of school. And I told the sheep about that conversation, just for a laugh.

Sheep: 你立心不良！
K: 不過我第一日識你都覺得你好靜，好綿羊！好似需要人保護o個種！同埋你應該學到8級琴！
Me: 如果o吾係8級琴就應該係彈古箏啦！
Sheep: ...我兩樣都o吾識...
Me: o甘...你地又會o吾會覺得我學琴學到演奏級呢...
K: Um...你比我第一印象同而家差o吾多，都係好sporty好鐘意打波o甘...
Sheep: Yee 佢好似逃避緊你個問題...
Me: 撞鬼...究竟點解我呀媽要比o甘多錢我學琴呢...
Sheep: 係呢，點解你會學琴o架？你真係o吾似wor
Me: 聽聞係因為佢地買左個琴，但家姐放棄左，所以逼我學
Sheep: o甘點解逼你學而o吾逼你家姐繼續呢？
Me: 因為我細個好乖。
K + Sheep: ......
Me: 其實我細個時候好文靜o架。
K + Sheep: ......

How easy it is to lose money in Cov

2011-05-14T02:43:00.003+08:00

We just had one day to spend in Coventry, I decided to take my sis to Leamington.

Was a Sunday. Arrived at Rootes bus station at 15:15. Looked at timetable and found that we missed the 15:12 bus. Next bus will arrive at 16:12.

Sister wanted to go to Tesco to see if there is anything British she could buy as a souvenir. To Tesco we went. Then we caught the 16:07 bus from Tesco to Leamington via Warwick Uni.

Outside Rootes, the bus broke down. In other words, we successfully travelled from Tesco to Warwick Uni for 1.6 pounds EACH. As I got off the bus, Mr. Adeel and Mr. Haroon at the station asked me, what on earth did you do to our bus? We can't go out now!

As the next bus will arrive at 17:12, we decided to take a taxi to Leamington. The taxi took off. I noticed that the meter wasn't on. I asked the driver, "Hello? Your meter isn't on?"

Driver said, "What? We agreed on 20 pounds!"

1. He never mentioned 20 pounds.
2. We never said any word apart from "Leamington" and "Parade" to this taxi driver.
3. As far as experience tells me, going to Leam ISN'T 20 pounds.

I said, no I can't do 20 pounds. At most 15.

Driver showed us a list saying "Coventry Taxi Driver Association". "According to this list I should have charged 28 pounds to Leamington. I'm just charging you 20 and you agreed. All the drivers at the station heard you."

1. If the right price is 28 why are you charging me 20?
2. Again, I never agreed to 20.
3. Even if the true price on the meter turns out to be 28, for the sake of not wanting this dodgy guy earn my money, I said,

"Let us out. I'm not going now."

"Fine, but the minimum charge is 2.8 pounds. Pay me 2.8 pounds and I can let you off here."

I prolly should have called the police but I wonder if any police will deal with this on a Sunday afternoon. So we paid 2.8 pounds and went back to the taxi stand to take another taxi.

Total money spent: 3.2 pounds for the bus and 2.8 pounds for the dodgy taxi = 6 pounds
Total achieved: getting horridly pissed off

P.S. Taxi from Rootes to Leam finally took me another 16 pounds.

Fucking Hot Tube!

2011-05-11T04:29:00.000+08:00

The London Tube is really fucking hot. There’s almost no ventilation inside the train. I felt like stuck in an oven.

There was a guy sitting opposite us and his girlfriend was leaning on his shoulder. Hm. The girl looked quite nice. But since the carriage was so hot and stuffy I felt a bit dizzy and started to dose off.

When the train reached Paddington, I woke up because it’s almost my time to get off. In just a short glimpse I noticed that the guy opposite me was wearing a pair of jeans that was VERY TIGHT. EXCEPTIONALLY TIGHT. Hm…the jeans didn’t seem so tight a few stations earlier, if it was SO TIGHT I thought I’d notice that? Hm…and the guy’s face was VERY RED. Hm…

Well I shouldn’t be surprised. The Tube was so hot probably any guy would wanna take off all his clothes then and there.

Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T19:11:00.006+08:00

很難忘剛回到英國的那一刻，心情是很沈重的。

我感受不到活力。感受不到進步。感受不到意氣風發。

千古不變的皇室與傳統，就是人民的心靈慰籍。

今天，可能是這國家30年來最團結的一天。經濟政治都太沈重，她需要沖喜一下。

Guilt

2011-04-15T00:11:00.002+08:00

看見汗流浹背的西裝友，想起一年前的自己。

穿著casual wear與西裝友爭位吃飯，感覺格格不入。然後覺得，其實我有點掛念中環的生活啊。

我喜歡工作。感覺踏實。

尤其是每次看過自己戶口balance 以後。

*

去年今天，是駱駝上最後一根草。從此以後，沒有人能逼我做任何我不想做的事情 =)

走鋼索的人

2011-04-08T20:17:00.003+08:00

愛。回家。
表面很興奮，但其實我有點怕。

＊

走在半空中要人命的風就快要把我吹落
妳在那一頭說妳不愛我我掛在風裡顫抖

走鋼索的人不害怕犧牲只求妳一句愛我
往前是解脫後退是自由我應不應該回頭

風吹痛我雙眼我看不清楚
我平衡不了躲在我心裡的苦

我要給妳幸福妳蠻不在乎
妳愛不愛我會決定我下一步

往前是冷漠後退是寂寞乾脆我墜落
回憶在左手未來在右手誰又會同情我

Please be careful of your belongings

2011-04-08T01:26:00.004+08:00

Two news, one good one bad. Bad is, I lost some pounds (as in money, not weight, sadly). Good is, I have a good story to tell.

Below I will present the facts, and the facts only:

Date: 6th April, 2011
Venue: WBS A2.06
Time: around 8pm

1. 7 people in the group.

2. My textbook was originally placed on top of my own laptop.

3. After discussion ended, 4 people left the room, remaining people included Lady, Me and Guy, who chatted about careers stuff.

4. When I was about to leave, I no longer see a textbook on my laptop. One textbook is placed on the table.

5. Examining the textbook, with many corners folded and very worn out, I declared, "This is not mine."

6. Guy said, "Oh. How do you know?" I said, "It's so worn out! Impossible!"

7. Thinking maybe someone dropped my book on the floor (thus making its corners folded) I went home. Briefly flipped through the book. Found underlines and markings. Therefore it is definitely not mine.

8. Next day I went around asking whether my groupmates took my book by mistake. Everybody showed me either their names on their book or highlighter marks on their book. Except one Guy. He said, "Oh, my book is in my car. But I didn't make any markings on my book. I'm sure this is not mine."

9. I reported this finding to Uncle R. Uncle R reported that this morning when there were only 3 people in the lecture room, this Guy was flipping through the textbook.

*

So guys, keep a close eye on your belongings, including any textbooks that you're planning to sell out on Amazon. My textbook has now depreciated to scrap value overnight. I don't intend to confront that guy, so treat it as a non-recurring write off. But it's not about the money. My point is:

How could something so "high school" happen in an MBA course for god's sake?!

Get a gun!

2011-04-05T06:35:00.005+08:00

People who don't know me well would have thought I have a quick temper simply telling from my grumpy looks, but those who know me quite well would know that I actually am quite patient with people (part of the reason is I am actually a little bit slow in response).

So I thought I was being quite childish when I kept saying that I hate a certain guy (like last week) and I thought I was being quite childish for hating a certain guy (a different guy) this week as well. Until somebody sitting besides me whispered, "Is it just me? I find that guy in the front EXTREMELY ANNOYING!"

Mr. Serious sitting beside me has been a quiet lad through two terms, and was so serious that I seldom talked to him. But now Mr. Serious was suggesting me to get a gun and shoot that guy at the front.

It really amazes me how somebody could annoy anybody so much without even having talked to neither of us. He feels really good about himself. He speaks with authority. He sounds sarcastic and tries to be funny in a sarcastic way and is really cocky. He keeps saying "yep, yep, yep" very loudly while the lecturer is speaking, as if the lecturer needs his endorsement of what is to be said. And this afternoon, whenever he shows his cockiness again, Mr. Serious would say under his breath, "Shoot him down, man!"

Well Mr. Cocky, congratulations, you've tested the bottomline :)

*

By the way, I really liked the valuation model that I was taught today. Fresh stuff that never appeared in the CFA syllabus!

一杯奶茶

2011-04-04T07:24:00.002+08:00

晚上十點半，我想喝一杯奶茶。然後心想，um，反正快要睡了，就不要喝好了。

然後搞搞Corporate Governance essay，send個email，同朋友仔chat了一會，十一點半了，我又想起了奶茶。然後心想，我真的快要睡了，不要喝了。

然後又跟朋友仔聊起來。然後覺得，好像好久沒有玩過sudoku了，就玩一會吧。

十二點十五分。我還念念不忘一杯奶茶。

妖。飲啦。

Governance emergencies! (2)

2011-04-02T06:59:00.003+08:00

OK. Presentation day. Our group was last to go so we're probably expected with the best, but obviously now I think we should come last. No joking, the lecturer was damn right we all worked on our own slides without any co-operation or co-ordination or interlinkage. Because co-operation wasn't possible.

This guy who started off by introducing the company (which, really, wasn't necessary: who doesn't know what is Disney anyway?) started playing a video to "wake the people up" without me even knowing that he was gonna do it. And what was that video? A Mickey Mouse cartoon. That's it. And how much is that related to our presentation? Well, not much to be honest, except that both are associated with Disney.

Then the guy used TEN minutes to introduce the company and the timeline of events (mind you, all 5 of us had 30 minutes in total), which, again, is not much related to the questions that we were prompted to answer. And with odd captions that were meant to "make the presentation more interesting" as well, "Waking of the Sleeping Beauty"? "Ruling with an iron fist"? "The roaring mouse"? What was all that about?! If you could make the whole thing funny, fine; but if you can't, you're just downright odd. No kidding.

Second guy, again, used TEN minutes in answering question 1. To be honest, he did do a good job of making things very clear, but then the remaining TEN minutes had to be split between THREE people. And, I was the ending speaker. Again.

No kidding, I did lots of research for the presentation, but none of them bothered to understand them nor use them properly. And since they didn't do a good job of explaining anyway, I mentioned those at the conclusion section. Ending comment by lecturer, "I think there was some important stuff that should be put in the context, not at the conclusion. I feel your presentation is very loosely structured."

Well, he was right. I didn't even ask for the final mark for our presentation. I'm not even interested. I'm not happy, really; I hate delivering shitty work KNOWING that it's going to be shitty. I just didn't bother trying to convince those uncles with a terribly big ego. My bad.

One funny thing happened AFTER the presentation though. There was a lady doing distance MBA who came along and said, "Well done! I didn't know you were going to speak in the presentation! You were so quiet in the class, I thought you were very shy! You did a good job!"

So I was like, "Shy? Huh? Well...you can ask these guys." and I pointed to my full time colleagues.

And my good old colleague said, "She's not shy. She's not THERE!"

Which is true because, as a protest against the crappy course and the lecturer who constantly feels too good about himself, I skipped the entire Thursday's lectures.

Governance emergencies!

2011-04-01T06:21:00.003+08:00

There are some people that you know, at the first moment you hear them speak, you can't click with them.

*

So this guy would tell you to run through the powerpoint from start to finish, but as soon as the 2nd slide comes on he starts commenting. So we'd pause to make changes and discuss what changes to make. Then as you are working, this same guy will say, "Look guys, why don't we run through the whole thing from start to finish."

Then you'd run from the start again. This time when the 3rd slide comes on he starts commenting again. So naturally, we paused again (because what needs to be done needs to get done, ain't that right?) But as soon as you're halfway done, he'd say again "Look guys, why don't we run through the whole thing from start to finish."

And the loop went on once more before I said, "Please write that down and keep it to yourself until we finish?"

*

Our case was about the compensation package of the CEO of Walt Disney Co. The case asked us whether we thought his package was reasonable or not, but enclosing a resignation letter from another director which expressed that the CEO didn't deserve his pay. BUT does that really mean it's not reasonable?

Took those guys some time to finally digest the fact that no, the CEO wasn't overpaid, because more than 80% of his salary came from a bonus which was tied systematically to net profit plus a chunk of stock options while his basic salary was pathetic. Looking at the numbers I crunched the guys were actually hiding their heads in their hands. What's so wrong about saying his pay was reasonable? That's something I don't get.

But what really upset me was, I tried to briefly explain to them his salary structure, which of course, included some numbers. This guy (same guy) just said, "OK, let's not dive into the numbers." WHAT?! If I hadn't been crunching all this stuff you guys would still be stupidly thinking that YES EISNER WAS DEFINITELY OVERPAID. WHY? BECAUSE STANLEY GOLD WHO RESIGNED SAID SO. And then feel good about yourself. Let's not dive into the numbers? Hold on, you're actually saying "Let's not look at the facts"!

Similarly, in the first meeting this guy (same guy) undertook the task of compiling a graph showing the revenue, net profit and share price of Disney during Eisner's regime. Second meeting, no information from him. Decision was: "Let's not put that in the slides, I don't think we should dive into the numbers anyway."

*

Don't dive into the numbers, but yes dive into the sea of 2x2 tables and frameworks. Some guy (same guy) said that those who already did their presentation seemed to just summarize what's in the case studies. That's not adding value and we should avoid it. And, doing it all by himself, he decided to summarize what's in the lecture notes instead. OK, according to him THAT'S adding value, flooding the slides with whatever framework he could find in the lecture notes no matter they're relevant or not. Don't waste our efforts scraping them away man! I don't even want to look at our slides anymore.

*

Then there was the issue of whether all of us should speak or should it be just 2 or 3. We have in total 30 minutes and 5 sections, so I thought all 5 should speak. But no, he said, it disrupts the continuity. Better have just 3. Do you want to present? I'm happy to present.

Wait. 3 people for 30 minutes? That's 10 for each and possibly 15 for some. No I don't think anyone wants to listen to one single bloke talking nonstop for 15 whole minutes. Now THAT'S disruptive.

Ugh. I'm getting a bit personal now.

Is it a guy thing or is it just me?

2011-03-26T03:18:00.003+08:00

It's a friendly game. It's at noon in the scorching sun. It's just a 4-on-4 game. It's a mini pitch. There's nothing official whatsoever.

Why would you lecture your own cohort for slacking off in a silly football game?
Why would you tease someone, nonstop, that he has two left legs because his shots are far away from being on target?
Why would you moan about injury every time you missed a goal when you had a golden chance?
Why would you even say "I want us to win" when nobody is even keeping track of the score?

Is it the guys' obsessions about victory that I just don't have?

Frankly, though, I think you should be more mature.

I hate strategy

2011-03-23T05:55:00.002+08:00

I repeat, I hate strategy.

Well looking at the paper from 2010, I just don't see how I would benefit by being able to recite the definition of "competitive advantage" and "core competence".

OK. Give me a business. Then I'm supposed to tell you, A is a competitive advantage. B is just a core competence, not a competitive advantage. C are the resources of the company, but it is not the core competence. D is an intangible resource. E is a tangible resource.

OK then. SO WHAT? Does that change anything?

*

And there was this slide that really made me burst:

Title: Levels of uncertainty (Source: Courtney, Kirkland and Viguerie (1997) Harvard Business Review)

- Clear enough future
-- single view

- Alternative futures
-- limited set of possible future outcomes one of which will occur

- Range of futures
-- range of possible outcomes

- True ambiguity
-- not even a range of possible future outcomes

OK, you've exhausted all possibilities. How does that help?

*

Jesus Christ. I prefer serendipity.

多得考試

2011-03-20T07:55:00.005+08:00

上一輪考試讓我迷上RubberBand，今個學期嘗試聽聽Mister，畢竟個個都話正。

聽左幾首...hm...

不可以說不好聽，但係...點講呢...

好cliche wor。

RubberBand的core competency是，聽完有開心左，平靜左的感覺。

或，某一種感動。

＊

《夏令時間》

微風吹起剎那　長灘記載仲夏
擠於那帳幕下　營火邊講笑嗎
迷戀那位　在盼對話是絢爛暑假

黃昏依稀剎那　籃框記掛盛夏
曾呼喊勝利吧　給汗水擦亮年華
誰有來打氣　名字漸忘記夏天出走遠飛

如今這跳錶　自動停頓了
無稽的笑話　嫌棄在那朝
落泊的房間　睡醒每朝
洗過臉跟倒影說　什麼才重要

航空的信封　漸漸溶爛了
同班的照片　搬遷中給錯丟
密閉高樓中　棲身冷氣風裡
倦了　這身軀很想再回到初夏的夜裡

揮霍得最多的歡笑聲
是那股不怕乾涸的初生氣盛
時光飄遠　忘了即興
結集舊時場景　安慰澀倦眼睛
在追憶之中不要太易醒

年輕的臂章　默默除下了
藏珍的唱片　誰刮掉報銷
在滿街人堆　未懂對焦
空氣有把聲音說　人經已大了

這秒鐘　沒夏蟲在叫
才知這輩子　青春一早退燒
悶透的時鐘　摧毀每寸依據
若世界太趕只想再回到初夏的夜裡

很想再回到初夏的夜裡

*

散發正能量的藝術最了不起。

無題

2011-03-19T00:36:00.004+08:00

難道還要抱緊這些過去不可再進亦不退

18/3 下午

我躲在房間在浪費陽光

一支煙的時間

2011-03-14T02:48:00.002+08:00

奇奇怪怪。

我竟然發夢自己在抽煙，仲要不只一支，是煙駁煙那種。

*

今天比賽大家都很頹，我因為做assignment做到頹，隊友們因為昨天party得太開心所以頹。比賽前就大伙兒在討論 who slept with who and who wanna shag who, 旁邊只剩下兩三個老鬼（包括我）得淡笑。

Well, the ultimate goal of life is probably to get laid, right?

*

有點累。

今天他們說...

2011-03-09T05:57:00.002+08:00

麻甩佬T說，這幾個禮拜我有點不同。平時我好像都很開心的，這幾個禮拜好像很depressed。

師奶仔G說，她也同意我不同了，還有不知道為甚麼今個學期我好像對學業比較認真了，上課竟然有帶reading，有時還有帶筆。

不知道兩者可有關連？

＊

Depressed是真的，而且肯定不是因為生理週期的關係。是一種無力感。

我可以用廣東話／普通話在lecture room裡面對著朋友們發很大很大的爛渣，但都揮不去一種無力感。魚糧繼續做，底繼續包，感覺，就好像當年做隊長。天分不夠頂硬上，落得烏雲蓋頂。

唯一的分別是，無論我有多proactive，我都不是隊長，對他們來說（尤其讀得這course的，ego都不細），我只是一個花o靚。

＊

不過，這畢竟只是很校園的烏雲。跟職場上的相比，這實在不算甚麼，可以一笑置之。

＊

突然很回味剛過去星期日的那場比賽。

史無前例犯了3次規，差點吃黃牌。但賽後隊長跟我說，覺得我踢得很好，連移動城堡都被我嚇退了。有點感動。

他40幾歲人來跟我們這班花o靚踢波，我哪有藉口不跑多兩步？

天分不夠，就用韌力補救。

衰捻善

2011-03-08T05:47:00.002+08:00

諸事不順。

真係吾應該放過佢地。

唉。

If you hate people pretending to be humble, high five!

2011-03-03T00:42:00.006+08:00

Quite some time ago there was this colleague of mine whom I talked about taking an MBA. I was saying to do it in UK would cost me nearly all the money I had, but if I really can't afford it myself my parents can give me some support. This guy says, wow, you're pretty rich huh. And I say, yea, "dou OK ga".

The answer took the guy by surprise for a second, but then he said, I LIKE YOUR ANSWER!

*

I forgot what we were talking about but some guy from my group asked me, you got a pretty high GMAT score, right? And I say, yea, was pretty high.

And the guy who asked the question said, I LIKE YOUR ANSWER!

*

Why do they like my answer? Well it's obviously because people don't usually JUST SAY "I am good."

They'll say, "Nah, I sucked at it." Then wait for other people to ask, "Then what did you get?" "710." "Oh my god and you say you sucked at it? I can't believe it!" "Well yea...I scored 800 in all my GMAT practice tests so I was really disappointed with my results, yea, you know, well, um..."

They'll say, "No I'm not rich! Stop saying that!" Then wait for other people to ask, "Then where do you live?" "Chelsea." "Oh my god and you say you're not rich? I can't believe it!" "Well uh...it just costed me around a million or two, yea, you know, well, um..."

You just HATE these kinda people don't you!

*

So next time anyone asks me why I succeeded in something, I will say to him/her, because I am good.

And that's at least part of the truth, isn't it? (wink)

The business cycle

2011-03-01T07:09:00.003+08:00

Today, I learnt about the business cycle that is very inspiring:

Cash --> Raw materials --> Work-In-Progress --> Finished goods --> Debtors --> Cash

"Do you want cash? Well not really. Because they aren't really generating revenue for you and too much of it lowers your ROI. So you buy raw materials with your cash. Do you want raw materials? Well not really. Because they are expensive to keep. So you turn them into WIP. Do you want WIP? Well not really. Because they are worth nothing until they're finished. So you turn them into finished goods. Do you want finished goods? Well not really. Because you want to sell them! So you sell them and you get debtors. Do you want debtors? Well not really. Because you want them to pay you. So they pay you, and you get cash. Do you want cash? Well not really! That's the business cycle for a finance director isn't it!"

Well I don't understand much of British humour but I understand his. David Murphy is the guy!

Young peeps!!! (2)

2011-02-25T08:56:00.004+08:00

Not sure if it applies to every culture, but I normally regard 3 years difference as "one generation gap", i.e. if somebody is 3 years older than me I'd say we have a generation gap and if somebody is 6 years older than me I'd say we have TWO generation gaps. Well not that the number is important but it just explains how different people's mindsets are.

So I was back from Tesco with SiMui and on the way some friend of SiMui, who is an undergrad, came along and said hi. During the conversation we learnt that she just had a presentation in class. Well that is nothing special until you realize what she wore. Black tights with, on top, a skirt barely covering her entire hips. Wow, some presentation!

So SiMui is 2 years younger than me and I guess that's the maximum gap I could tolerate. The undergrad who is again 2 years younger than SiMui is, therefore, beyond capacity. To make it simple, they are simply 不知所謂！

So, folks older than me, if you find my behaviour utterly unacceptable, please let me know. Because...I'm still a young peep! =]

Sigh...young peeps!

2011-02-24T22:22:00.003+08:00

So this morning I agreed to do a psychology experiment for a project of one my my undergrad football teammates. She told me to "meet her at the Library" (didn't say where) at 1:30pm and for her convenience, I gave her my phone number through facebook inbox.

So I was there at the Library entrance at 1:30pm sharp. Nobody there. I went down the stairs to see if she's outside the cafe. Nobody there. I tried to look for internet access to check my facebook and see if I had remembered the time wrong. Nope, nothing wrong. It was eventually 1:50pm and since she never gave me her number I gave her a message telling her to call me.

After wandering around for some more on campus (WLAN was lost) and I got no phone call I decided I'm not going to waste anymore of my time and go home. And the moment I went back to my own room, the message I got in my facebook inbox was "Oh I am at the Floor 2 sofas", sent to me at 1:55pm.

Well, young peeps, it's your project, not mine. If you don't give a damn, don't try to waste anybody's time. I told her I had gone home. And from her reply "I tried to reply as quickly as possible. But that's ok.", I know she still doesn't have a clue what has gone wrong.

And now, the war forecast

2011-02-22T02:21:00.003+08:00

Well I know this is all old knowledge, but the picture of this still gives me the creeps. These fucking bastards in the Pentagon look at a computer software and say, "Look, just 6000 casualties, that's not much, let's go to war!"

And the Dupuy Institute says it is a non-profit organization. Man, non-profit organizations are supposed to be doing good for society, no? Or should I say, that's nice of you to be charging only $93,000 for the software so that even poor countries could afford to decide whether to go to war?

And why on earth would anybody think an MBA student is able to comment on a WAR FORECAST MODEL just based on a news article talking about it?

Whoa, the human sustainability!

2011-02-17T06:59:00.003+08:00

Impressive figures:

Pepsico UK manufactures 10 million packets of crisps each day. HOW IMPRESSIVE IS THAT?!
Pepsico UK puts 100% of its budget for carbonated soft drinks in zero calorie drinks. HOW IMPRESSIVE IS THAT?!

Well...I don't know, really. What Mr. Georgy kindly wiki-ed immediately was that the population of United Kingdom is 60 million, meaning that probably one-sixth of the population is consuming a packet of crisps PER DAY?!

'Tis barking mad.

*

Funny how I did actually dream of Paris a few weeks before the news I got yesterday.

I loved that dream.

Because you were there :)

Tidying up

2011-02-09T09:26:00.002+08:00

小師妹說：你間房亂到連條屍都擺o吾落

由於小弟不見了散紙包兼o吾想 touchwood 死o左o係房都訓得o吾舒服，決定執房，至少令部份桌面可以見光。

執notes執notes執notes，原來全部都一眼都無看過。

o甘多年，原來一D都無進步過。

生活，又可o吾可以執番正小小？

恭喜恭喜

2011-02-08T09:42:00.004+08:00

好似大家都好旺wor...

大佬們過D靈氣比我好嘛...

WIF

2011-02-05T09:39:00.003+08:00

今天參加完 Investment Forum 超級累

小師妹o吾o係到，唯有周圍R飯吃

覺得自己的behaviour有點像 Steve...

*

有關 Islamic Finance 的講話衝擊超大，相關reflection容後補上

新年新氣象

2011-02-04T08:35:00.004+08:00

怎麼了，不相信嗎？

我居然有點想家了。

＊

我只是不想愛得太遲。

Here's your formula for calculating compensation

2011-02-01T02:05:00.003+08:00

Last year ranking: 42
This year ranking: 58
Fall in ranking: 16
% in fall: 38%

Your formula for calculating the compensation for customer dissatisfaction will be as follows:

[Tuition fee + Accommodation fee + (last salary x 12) + estimated bonus + estimated extra living expenses] x 38%

Notes:

1. Left out the currency adjustment deliberately because HKD has been falling against the GBP.

2. You may take time value into account if your amount is big enough for you to bother.

3. "Estimated extra living expenses" means the excess amount incurred as a result of living in UK rather than your own country. This assumes that the UK has the highest relative price of goods in the entire world. However if you happen to come from a country with a higher price of goods than UK, you may ignore this factor.

4. The above formula is a guideline only. There is room for more creative adjustment, e.g. cost for extra warm clothes if you came from a tropical environment, cost for being sick extra long because the GPs on campus don't give the right medicine but just tells you to sleep, cost for extra frustration at fake train schedules on the uk national rail website etc...

*

Hahahahahahahaha just kidding. I still love my programme. And my lovely cohorts!

P.S. I'm sure I could contribute to the "salary increase" meter the coming year. Cuz my original package was too low *wink*

Harry Potter and the Lost Train

2011-01-31T01:31:00.002+08:00

This is a magical place indeed.

1. Ms. Anna has a meeting the next day so we decided to take a late night train home. She checked twice on the UK National Rail website, there is a train from London Euston to Coventry is 22:50.

2. It was 22:30. We rushed our way out of International Hall and RAN to London Euston. Very quickly Ms. Anna purchased her tickets through the ticket machine. It was 22:47. I rushed to see which platform our train is on. There is no sign of any train to Coventry.

3. We probably missed the train. We approached the information counter to ask when is the next train.

4. Guy from the information counter said, "No more train. The last train was gone at nine something." "What? But the website says there is a train at eleven something!"

5. Guy from the information counter said, as a matter-of-factly, "It's wrong." "What's wrong? The website?" "Yea. It's wrong. This is England. You have to check and double check." As if anything would change if I checked it three times?

6. "Then can I get a refund? If there's no train how come the machine would sell me a ticket that's valid only for today?" "You come here tomorrow morning and get a refund at platform 10. They are closed now."

7. Truly honoured to experience this great moment. Is there anything to trust on this land? Not even the website? Had no choice but to stay overnight at our friend's place.

8. Next morning we arrived at Platform 10 for the refund. Lady, "Why didn't you come here for a refund yesterday?" "The guy upstairs said you're closed by then." "What guy?" "Information counter." "What time?" "Around 22:50, probably?" "We are not closed at that time. Why didn't you come here for a refund?" "The guy told us you were closed!" "No we cannot give you a refund for a ticket of yesterday."

Well well.

Results are out!

2011-01-29T08:34:00.002+08:00

Well, to no one's surprise really, I gained ONE distinction in:

ACCOUNTING AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

which basically tells me nothing but the fact that I will be a good number crunching monkey all my life.

Ah anyway. Passed everything. I'm happy =)

Black Swan

2011-01-28T07:56:00.003+08:00

This movie is scary shit.

小師妹衝入我房間時，我抱著Duffy神情恍惚。

想起都毛管棟！

And yea, I streamed it online :)

Was a pretty lousy day

2011-01-24T05:25:00.003+08:00

Wanted to wake up early so I could go to Tesco to buy a knee support for my injured knee. Ended up waking up at 11:20 but I had to take off at 12 for a game in Birmingham at 12. Just wanted to grab some cereal for breakfast but my milk went bad before the expiry date so I had to throw the lot into the bin. Had to beg my still-sleeping friend for bananas but apparently wasn't enough to support a 90-minute game without substitutes. And OH the bloody muddy pitch! It slanted so we actually had to run uphill in a football game (unheard of isn't it?!) and the pitch was so muddy it looked like farmland just harvested yesterday. Felt like running in a swamp. And I sprained both ankles in the first half so apparently there's no reason for limping but honestly I couldn't really run. Turns out my right ankle is worse than my left and my right knee is feeling worse. Now finally, I think I should stay off sports for at least a week.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Ironman

2011-01-22T08:50:00.003+08:00

在門前，肚腩又吃了狠狠一記波餅。

教練 Pete 就不只一次說過，"Carmen is made of iron!"

撞我不散，踢我不暈，責我不死，起來，再跑。除了球證雞聲，找不到停下來的理由。

＊

小時候是愛哭鬼。

不記得由哪個時候開始，變了。不怕痛了。不哭了。

至少哭了都不會讓人看到。

＊

“如果你仲頂得住，go for it."

鋼鐵，可能就是這樣煉成的。

Run till my battery goes flat

2011-01-21T02:36:00.003+08:00

So I fucked up my internship app
I'm totally unproductive
I'm staring at deadlines and not wanting to do anything
And even the microwave lasagne is lousy.

So I put on my tracksuit and run. Heronbank, Rootes, Cryfield, Heronbank, and again. And again.

And I just don't find any reason to stop.

我是牛我是牛

Mid-Jan recap

2011-01-19T08:51:00.006+08:00

"Where have you been? All over the world?"

Hell yea, I have! And it's not gonna stop, I guarantee you that. Next stop: in search of the Northern Lights!

"Tengo hambie! Tengo MUCHO hambie!"

No idea what happened but I feel I like can swallow one dinosaur per day.

"Why did you choose corporate finance? You know the stuff! And it's on Friday morning! Ah but you will skip anyway."
Yes. My syndicate groupmate knows me well.

"Please answer me correctly: have you done anything about POM over the holidays?" "No." "Thank you, that is the correct answer."
Now the holiday is over, full steam, guys!

"You should keep a tally of the number of times you get crunched against the number of times you crunch people."
Well sad to say, the number of times I get crunched far outnumbers crunching people. In the last game I crunched somebody else's head with my own head (so in effect I'm crunching myself at the same time) and now I'm itching to break somebody's leg in the next to get even with that tally.

"You are probably the only player I've seen get hit in the stomach EACH week."
Glad I am not pregnant. Full stop.

"But you told me you were tired? You were running like a maniac!"
Well the good thing is, I think my fitness has improved to the point where I can survive running like a maniac in a full 90 minute game free from cramps. But I don't just wanna run. I was supposed to be there to KILL!

"Whose leg did I kill? Oh it's yours! You have another leg anyway. You'll be fine."
How can I NOT love my teammates?

"點解Duffy 個size會同 Mickey一樣呢？“ ”Because it's meant to be a MARY for Mickey while he's on his voyage."
Typical impure idea proposed by my dear SI MUI.

Indeed, I became so much happier when I know you're happy.

Friends, how was your 2010?

2010-12-30T02:47:00.003+08:00

記得去年12月31日，我寫過，希望在2009終極一跌後，2010Q1會有谷底反彈。遲到好過無到，4月29日，就在把支票夾在辭職信內的一刻開始，我想，應該牛市了吧。

放了一個月大假，加入了新公司，認識了好同事，知道了職場內好人還有很多。Monkey work，也可以快樂，關鍵在人。時間雖短，感動依舊。

來了英國，更愛香港。3個月，沒有感覺到小說裡說的MBA學生互相競爭頭崩額裂，只感覺到自己多了很多能相信的好朋友。

難得在這邊有很多機會踢足球，踢足90分鐘試過，寒天雪地踢過，室內亦踢過，會好好珍惜。

今個假期，西班牙，法國Chamonix，下一站摩洛哥，what's next? *wink*

生活，多寫意。

祝各位新年快樂！

P.S. 謝謝身邊的廚神們，多得你們小弟沒有機會餓死！
P.P.S. Against all predictions, 全年體重持平，可以沾沾。

Holiday resolution

2010-12-16T11:01:00.002+08:00

不該想的，別想

不該喝的，別喝

不想做的，別做

不值做的，掉那媽！

Eat, pray, love (2)

2010-12-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

終於都把電影看完了。還是不喜歡。原因一樣。

朋友在驚訝為甚麼我好像很不了解女生的想法。然後我在想，我身邊的女性朋友都不是這種“自尋煩惱型”的。

Moody嘛，常常都叫人又愛又怕。

＊

有關處女座

其實我覺得自己很處女座的。只是我的處女座attribute隱藏得太好大家都不發覺。你以為我happy go lucky嗎？你以為我不會想很多？
嘿嘿，其實我神不知鬼不覺已經process了十幾個thinking procedures，是不是很恐怖？！XP

Eat, Pray, Love

2010-11-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

看了一半看不下去的電影。

一個女人去浪遊找尋自己，本來是很浪漫很型，但要有ground。

但我覺得這個女人只是不斷不滿現狀，不但自己想要甚麼不知道，連自己不想要甚麼都不知道，i.e. 甚麼都不知道，只是沈醉在自己的depression裡面，無啦啦在傷春悲秋，然後對身邊的人發脾氣。她需要的是心理醫生。

說了這些，朋友說，“怎麼你的都是男生的想法？！她的想法我都可以理解啊！”

Er...?

大鑊，要認真學野了。

忽發奇想

2010-11-25T08:48:00.003+08:00

今天6點多出Leamington想看Harry Potter，可是竟然6點半及7點半都sold out，要840才有位，唯有撐檯腳dum波鐘。結果跟友人很random的談起發卡與被發卡。

廣東人常常把“追”跟“溝”當成同一個意思。

忽發奇想，其實“追”跟“溝”，代表的概念是完全不一樣的！

廣東話，真係好奇妙。

Abnormal vs different

2010-11-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

強力推介本週王迪詩專欄：

第六隻手指，切還是不切？

我托着腮，看着那則網上新聞沉思了一會。孩子生下來有六隻手指，這種個案在世界各地都出現過。有些情況，那第六根手指是畸形的，骨頭不正常或容易折斷，應該切除。但也有些情況，那第六根指頭明明是好端端的，功能正常，看上去跟其他五根指頭無異，除了彈琴和打字方便一點，有什麼問題呢？

只要付得起手術費，大部分父母都會選擇切除。正常人有五隻手指，多了一隻手指會被視為「不正常」的。上學會被同學笑，上街會被途人望，動手術切除是為免孩子自卑。

敢於與別不同

有時候，我不大確定所謂「正常」是什麼意思。跟大部分人一樣，就算是「正常」了嗎？我多一隻手指影響到你嗎？為什麼「人人都有五隻手指」，我就非要「五隻手指」不可？切除一根有血有肉的健康指頭，不是太殘忍了嗎？有些父母認為把孩子塑造成主流一樣，孩子的路會好走一點。一旦跟大夥兒不同，就會遭到歧視了。你比別人聰明，會遭到歧視；你比別人愚蠢，會遭到歧視。智商必須保持在全港中位數的上下10%以內，真是一趟吃力的人生啊。

我從網上看到一則新聞，浙江一個女孩生下來就擁有十二隻手指和十二隻腳趾。家人起初擔心孩子會被人嘲笑，爺爺卻疼惜地說：「正常的，每隻腳趾都有骨頭！」他明白了第六根指頭的意義，給孫女起了名字──邵無雙。

每個人都是與別不同的。問題是，你是否敢於與別不同。

－－節錄自《蘭開夏道》20/11/2010

Hail the document crunching monkeys!

2010-11-20T09:18:00.002+08:00

與友人不約而同都有英國籍組員。有趣的事發生了，兩位英國同學平時說話頭頭是道，如今要交document了，大家才發覺他們都不懂用Microsoft Word.

當我告訴他，把下一個section放到下一頁，可以不用狂按ENTER而是可以按Control+ENTER，他好像發現新大陸。當我告訴他，可以用format paintbrush 來format其他段落的時候，他說,"Oh can you do the paintbrush thing again? I LOVE IT!"

Hm...對於formatting訓練有素，有幸有不幸吧...

花灑

2010-11-19T09:49:00.004+08:00

每次聽到那熟悉的幾個琴音

都會感到莫名其妙的快樂

Alarm 的鈴聲又換了 =)

Ah...forget the Chinese!

2010-11-18T08:23:00.004+08:00

Yes I do realize that I haven't been seriously blogging in November, and for the sake of time management I stopped writing in Chinese. Please bear with me, I hope I will resume writing in that language after this term.

*

Finally got my first job application rejection. From Rothschild. Well yea I shouldn't be surprised, Linda did warn me that I'm over-qualified for the graduate program...well whatever, it's better than having loose ends dangling around anyhow.

Something about application systems though: been applying online for a global investment bank and failed to proceed to the "submit" button because the system didn't allow me to fill in the name of my previous employers. Applicants can only choose the previous employer name from a list of 300 firms, and (obviously) my old bosses weren't on the list. Well well how cocky is that?! Leon Richards commented: "Well think about it, you probably don't want to work for an employer like that, do you?"

Funny thing is, I do. No hypocrisy, no nonsense. Why ask me all those daft questions about "Why Citi Why Blackrock Why RBS Why Barcap" when what you are actually ONLY concerned about is whether I've been working in a posh firm in the past or whether I have a 2:1 degree in undergrad. Why not do this effective screening and make it honest? It's kinda discrimination, I know. But it's unbelievable how much the HR guys are obsessed with this 2:1 requirement. Is that not discrimination then?

Isn't it awful having that 2:2 hanging around when you know it's not even related to your career at all? Well anyway I decided to STOP ALL JOB-HUNTING till I am about to graduate. Fuck the programs, they've been taking too much of my time! Stop worrying about career. I saved enough money to do exactly that. Why wasn't I sticking to it?

*

Had a really interesting conversation with a classmate today. We were talking about how we could improve to work better. Substantially there's nothing much to say, really, the group's been terrific, but this guy did ask a good question: You're just 24, how on earth did you get THAT cynical?

Reading through my previous blog entries, he's right! Probably 90% of my entries are cynical/depressed and the remaining 10% are happy, and the happy entries are written in codes that probably nobody but the only relevant person knows how to decode.

And now I know there's this point when I no longer knew how to make her happy anymore. Because I didn't even know how to make myself happy. And everything just bloody crashes.

Now. I'm getting hungry again in the middle of the night. And I like it because when this always happens, it means I am happy. =)

We are all a little tired for some reason

2010-11-17T02:08:00.004+08:00

Today a classmate told me, "I am your Daddy for these few weeks. No football for a month for you until you get well."

That's very nice of him really, but when I come to think of it, I have never ever declined to play anything due to injury! (especially since my injuries are never really that serious)

I kind of enjoy the pain and the muscle fatigues I get after every game. If I don't get them, I feel like I haven't used up myself. And curiously, the more physically tired I am, the less mentally tired I become.

And then, dealing with loneliness always becomes easier.

JfDI

2010-11-16T08:16:00.003+08:00

Somehow feels like I am really living out the meaning of JfDI.

These few days I did think a while about why I should even bother, but then I thought, OK, it's not about whether I "should" but rather whether I "want to". It's nothing big, after all. Just a little odd. Or perhaps even not.

Would it have been better if...?

Shit.